Where Shall We Go Next?

An 8th Grade Status Update Analysis

2011-09-07T02:05:00.000-07:00

I can't sleep, therefore I Facebook stalk. I Facebook stalk past students. I'm curious about how they are doing out there in the scary, dark world we call Middle School. Are they acing their tests like their second grade teacher prepared them for? Do they love to read like I prayed they would? Are they on their way to becoming functioning, productive members of society?

I read.

I cry.

I find my sweet, quiet, studious, precious, dare I say "favorite" student of that first year of teaching. And this is what I find.

yu guyz wanna hear a storie.???? Us: yea sure Bruno: ok i waz walking 1 day nd there waz a stikk nd i didnt c it nd I TRIP *ppl laughing* Bruno: tru storie.. *every1 laughing hardcore* jajajaja *'**** Bruno.!! *'**** Bruno!

Where did I go ~~rong~~ wrong?

yu - I'm pretty sure the actual spelling of this word was one of our Word Wall Words. I have pictures to prove it. That word was on this wall at one point.

guyz - When you make a word a plural you add an s not a z. I know it may sound like a z sometimes, but I promise you it wasn't in 2nd grade --- it still isn't in 8th grade.

wanna - I'll let that slide, but only because there are much bigger fish to fry in this lesson.

storie - Again, I'm pretty sure that was on our World Wall. Refer to the above picture if you forgot what that was.

.???? - What the? We also covered this thing called punctuation. I also have proof of this. Refer to the pretty posters on the back wall. I spent good money on those. I wish you would have read them.

waz - I have no wordz except Word Wall, my little friend, Word Wall.

nd - Holy crap. Yep, I said it.

i - We also learned about capitalization. First rule in capitalization. I. Let me use it properly in a sentence.

I want to stab my eyes out after reading your status update.

See how that worked?

stikk - Let me use this word in a sentence for you.

I want to stab my eyes out with a stick after reading your status update.

didnt - So close. I know you once knew how to properly do this. See the example below.

Notice to the right, the word "don't" --- used properly. I know this wasn't you that wrote it, but someone in second grade did, therefore I taught it.

c - "c" is a letter in the ABC's. "See" is a verb. I may not have taught that, although I probably did. Perhaps one of your other teachers failed you in that department.

ppl - Words need vowels to be words. You seem to be missing 3 of them. I can see how these might have been missed.

laughing - How did you get this word right when you can't spell and? I don't understand.

tru - I say false. You falsely spelled this word.

every1 - NO!!! You cannot combine letters and numbers to make words. No worky.

jajajajaja - I have never heard someone laugh like this. Perhaps in Germany?

*'**** - This word was not starred in the original status. Let's just say it is a very dirty cuss word and this person seems to think it ends in a double k and has an apostrophe right smack dab in the middle of the word.Again, I taught you the basics of short voweled words. At least spell you dirty words right.

Maybe since I wasn't successful maybe having my sister this year will learn you something. Surely having two Miss Royse's in your lifetime will do you some good.

Sister, fix what I messed up. Please.

I'm Too Good For First Class.

2011-08-29T12:26:00.000-07:00

It's no secret that Doug and I have the worst luck when it comes to traveling. I think it's officially been narrowed down to me on who might be responsible for it though.

It should come as no surprise that it took me 3 weeks (7 attempted flights, and way way more flights that ended up not opening any seats) to even be able to get over here to the grand US of A. Unfortunately, that apparently was only the beginning of my travel woes.

Long story short, I was in Wichita for a couple of weeks and planned on flying to Spokane to visit Doug, whom I haven't seen in 2 months. So excited, right? Right.

So I'm sitting in the terminal waiting to board the first flight to Minneapolis and the lovely lady comes across the speakers saying our airplane is broken and it may not be able to go. Right then and there I wanted to stand up and apologize to everyone else on the flight that I was riding on their airplane. It's my fault the flaps are broken.

Flaps are important, people. I'm a pilot's wife. I know these things. I've also seen countless episodes of Air Crash Investigations --- or Mayday for my Canadian friends or Air Emergency or Air Disasters for my American friends. I urge you to check this show out. It makes you feel like you're going to crash at all times while your flying. It's fabulous. I've seriously considered investing in adult diapers for my flying experiences these days. Just sayin'.

Anyway, the very nice lady that gave us that announcement helped me see if there were other flights leaving Wichita that day so I could go find my long lost husband. But alas, it was not meant to be. But she said I was so sweet that she would put me in first class for the Minneapolis to Spokane leg the next day. Score! I'll take it.

Mom drove about 45 minutes back to the airport to get super posh daughter. Sorry, Mom. But thanks for the Sonic. Score again!

That night I did some research on how I should behave in first class. Man was I nervous. I could use all the help I could get, and thanks to my awesome friends and family I got all the info I'd ever need.

1. Say in my best rich person voice, "Bring me the head of a pig". - credit goes to Kristin
2. Immediately pull out my laptop and look busy when everyone else boards so they think I'm making money right NOW. - credit goes to Kristin and Liz
3. Don't look like a scrub. - credit goes to lots of advice online. I don't think scrub was used in that advice, but that's my paraphrase.
4. Bathe - credit goes to myself. Sometimes my smartness amazes me.
5. Appear to know what I'm doing. - credit goes to myself, thus the reason I was researching.
6. Don't wear flip-flops because apparently people will look down on me if I do. - credit goes to random man on message board who thinks people who wear flip-flops are "low rent" --- including his wife. Jerk.
7. Shout obscenities and throw bodily fluids. - credit goes to Nick and Liz
8. Use my newly acquired British accent. - credit goes to Katie
9. Speak French. - credit goes to Liz (all I really know is oui which would really go right along with the throwing bodily fluids around)
10. Bring your own colorful and fringed shawl/blankey thing - using the blanket the airline provides is so pedestrian. I believe rich people call them pashminas. - credit goes to Lindsay
11. Wear giant sunglasses at all times. - credit goes to Lindsay and Andy
12. Take an excessively long time to put your luggage in the overhead compartment thereby holding up the rest of the passengers waiting to board. - credit goes to Lindsay
13. Look really disinterested in anything. - credit goes to Matt
14. Ask for Grey Poupon. - credit goes to Megan
15. Walk in like you own it. - credit goes to Nick
16. Carry my Coach bag. - credit goes to Hallie
17. If you have to write anything, use apostrophes correctly. It shows you are educated. - credit goes to Janel
18. Order a glass of wine to enjoy while others board. - credit goes to Shaun and Kathee
19. Where a big, fancy hat. - credit goes to Chris
20. Little Finger Up while sipping is a key. - credit goes to John

Who wouldn't be ready for first class with a list like that?!? Feel free to borrow these tips, all my fancy friends.

Thankfully the following day my flight took off. On a different plane that had flaps that worked. Flaps are important.

I get to Minneapolis and choose not to eat a meal because I'm riding in first class, therefore I will be receiving a head of a pig for my dinner. I settled on a little snack of an egg roll...and maybe a piece of fudge from the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory (they had a military discount, I couldn't help myself).

Boarding time came and right before they call first class to board my name popped up on upgrade screen. I was already assigned to seat 2C how much more could I be upgraded? First row? Pilot? There was no time to go up to the desk because they immediately called boarding so I just decided to wait til' they scanned my boarding pass to find out what I was so lucky to upgrade to. My boarding pass gets scanned and the machine prints out a piece of paper and the lady hands it to me and says, "Here's your new seat!" Sweet. 5D. Nothing too weird. 5D still sounds like first class so I'm still flying high. Then I get on the plane and look at the seats....

5D is not first class. 5D is the first row of coach. Did I not study hard enough for first class? Did I stink? Did I smell of inferiority? I was wearing flip-flops --- that had to be it. I was "low rent".

I thought, "Well, maybe they have extended first class an extra row." Then all the people in front of me got served drinks. The flight attendant didn't even look in my direction. My world started to cave in around me.

Once we took off I knew my dream was not going to happen because this happened.

They shut the "curtain". Not just any curtain. A curtain you can see through. It screams, "You're blocked out of this world, but you can still see into it. Sucker." Worst seat ever.

I sat there and watched as they were handed, with oversized tweezers (the flight attendant musn't touch the first class person), warm washrags to blot their travel-weary faces. WHAT ABOUT MY TRAVEL WEARY FACE?!?

I sat there and watched each person get a cloth placemat laid out in front of them. I MAKE MESSES TOO!!

I sat there and watched them get served steak, salad, and dessert on glass dishes. I'M HUNGRY!! I'M LIVING OFF OF A COLD EGGROLL SERVED IN A PAPER TRAY.

I sat there and watched them sprinkle salt and pepper out of their very own porcelain salt and pepper shakers. RUBBING SALT IN MY WOUND, I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

I sat there and watched them drink out of crystallike glasses for the rest of the flight. PLASTIC FLIMSY GLASSES, THAT'S WHAT I'M DRINKING OUT OF AND IF THE TWO TODDLERS BEHIND ME THAT ARE SCREAMING AND KICKING MY CHAIR DON'T STOP I'M GOING TO ACCIDENTALLY SPILL MY PLASTIC, FLIMSY DRINK OVER THE BACK OF MY CHAIR.

I sat there and watched them cuddle up with their blankets and pillows for a lovely midflight nap. I'M SO COLD. STUPID FLIP-FLOPS.

Thankfully they didn't have inflight entertainment...that would've been it.

I was sitting next to an army chaplain and I felt like I needed to confess my first class lust at the end of the flight. I'm not Catholic and I'm pretty sure he wasn't either, but I still felt like I needed to. I didn't. I was too ashamed. I confessed to my husband later.

And he laughed at me.

Then I showed him what I found in the in-flight magazine, while I was trying to ignore what was happening in front of me, that I'm gonna buy him for his birthday.

Who's laughing now?!? Our Christmas cards are gonna be adorable.

Yaalright?

2011-07-15T11:13:00.000-07:00

One of my goals this year has been to consistently, appropriately respond when an English person asks me a basic question. Not just any basic question...a very common one over here.

Now in the states when someone walks up to you they may ask, "How are you?" To which you would reply with, "fine", "good", "I'm doing well", or "Well, so far today, I woke up and stubbed my toe, spilled my milk from my cereal bowl, didn't get all of the conditioner washed out of my hair (which is why it looks so greasy right now...it's not because I don't wash my hair), burned my ear on my straightener, and burned dinner." Maybe not the last response, but you catch my drift.

Over here they don't ask you, "How are you?" Instead it goes a little like this:

"Yaalright?"

Now say it fast...now add an accent.

So for about a year I never answered this question appropriately. Not once. My answers varied throughout those months. Conversations went a little like this:

Man Fixing My Dryer: Yaalright?
Me: Uuuuuuhahhhh.

I'm not kidding. Sound it out. It's what I did. I felt dumb.

Person at Church: Yaalright?
Me:Fine.

Yea, that made A LOT of sense. I promise I do speak in complete sentences on occasion.

Neighbor: Yaalright?
Me: Complete blank stare. *thinking* What have they heard about me?!? Are there rumors going around? Do I look sick? Do I look like I'm not alright?!?

So because I was tired of feeling like a complete imbecile every time someone tried to be nice and ask if I was alright, I made it a goal to really start listening and answer appropriately.

I might or might not have practiced to myself at home.

I would like to report that when someone asks me, "Yaalright?" I can now respond with a very intellectual response of "Yes, and you?" quite consistently.

Brilliant.

It only took me 14 months to master. It's a good thing we live in a country that at least kind of speaks a language I understand. I'd be in a world of trouble if we were in Japan. Think of all the insults I could be hurling at people and not even know it.

I'll take heavy accents, weird words, and strange syntax. Thank you very much!

I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant

2011-06-15T14:37:00.000-07:00

Did my title capture your attention? Did it hook you? My high school English teachers would be so proud.

Don't get your panties in a wad though, cuz I'm not...at least I don't think so.

Seriously though, have you seen this show on TLC? Or on DMAX if you're on the other side of the ginormous pond. It is downright ridiculousness. It's one of those shows you just watch and wonder, "What the heedizzle?!?"

For those of you out there who have never been blessed to be able to view the beauty of this show it's about women who go into labor and give birth without ever knowing they were pregnant for the past 9 months. They go into labor and are pretty positive their about to die rather than birth a child. Which from what I've heard even women who know they're pregnant are convinced of the same.

I often watch this show (and it's always the same 3 episodes they repeatedly play) and wonder how the heck do you go for 9 months and not have a clue? There are larger ladies on the show so I suppose I could see that...maybe. BUT the itty bitty girls...where in the world does the kid go?!?

Now it used to be healthy for me to watch this show. Just one of those shows I sit in wonderment at and laugh...then get on my knees and pray it's not possible.

But it's gone to a whole new level.

Now when I bake cookies and they are sitting on my counter and I think, "Wow, a cookie sounds really good right now!"
My immediate response to myself is, "Oh shoot, is this a craving?!? Am I pregnant and I don't know it?!"
Then I must remind myself, "Self, there are fresh chocolate chip cookies for your taking...who wouldn't crave one of those beauties?!?"

Now when I gain a pound or two I think, "Oh man, I've gained a couple pounds!! Am I pregnant and I don't know it?!"
Then I must remind myself, "Self, you've been eating the fresh chocolate chip cookies on your counter and you haven't worked out for a month. There is an explanation for this."

Now when I lie in bed at night and I feel movement in my abdominal area I think, "Holy Moses, is that a baby moving?! Am I pregnant and I don't know it?!" Then I can't fall asleep...so I do the only thing that makes sense...design the nursery in my head.
Then after I've decided on color schemes and wood finishes I must remind myself, "Self, remember those cookies? There's this thing called digestion. There is an explanation for this."

So, if you ever consider watching the show "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant", you might want to rethink it...unless you want to be paranoid every time your body does something that's probably completely normal because you eat cookies. That show is straight from the devil.

BTW, I'm really not pregnant...unless I just don't know it.

Now excuse me while I go eat a cookie.

Nightmares

2011-05-18T16:58:00.000-07:00

How is it that healing takes a really really long time sometimes?

May 4, 2007 was a devastating day for a whole town in Kansas. The day that Greensburg was completely taken out. Peoples' lives were completely flipped upside down.

That same night, my life flipped upside down in a whole different way...and to this day I still have nightmares. In fact, I had one last night. I was so excited because I hadn't had one in probably a month or maybe even two, and had actually had a brief thought late last week that it had been quite a while since I'd had one...then last night happened. I woke up in a cold sweat and my heart racing. I hate it.

I thought back in 2007 that I was in God's will, yet at the same time I knew I wasn't...I really have no idea how to explain it except that I was one confused lady...obviously, based on that description! One day I was going about life as normal, had a new job, was moving back to be closer to home, and then Bam! the next day I was on a rollercoaster in a tunnel and I didn't feel like I could ever figure out what was going on or what was going to happen next. All I knew was I was stuck on this ride and was never gonna be able to get off.

Over the course of the next 3 months my heart got shredded. I don't think I compare the emotional pain to anything I have EVER felt before or since. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I lost sight of what life was supposed to be like. I lost sight of what God really wanted. I think I knew for a while that what was going on was not what God wanted, but I really felt like I had no idea how to fix it. Like I had made my bed and now I was going to lie in it.

Somehow those 3 months are a blur and yet I have flashbacks of details that hit me randomly. Somehow God brought me out of that weird fog and right back to Him and I know He has forgiven me for not listening, but I've discovered that the hardest thing is forgiving myself. I think I do pretty well most of the time, but then the nightmares hit and I don't know where they come from. I thought once we moved I wouldn't see familiar vehicles, locations, or people so it would all go away, but it hasn't. I think since moving I've had to actually face more of the guilt than before because I've been starting all over. I've had a lot more time on my own than ever before and so I've had to deal with stuff that I didn't deal with in the past.

Obviously Satan knows my weak spots and likes to point out, "You are such an idiot! Look what you did 4 years ago! What were you thinking?!?" I often times let my guard down by not spending time in the Word or praying like I should, and that's exactly when Satan decides to take advantage. Why do I never learn?!?

God has brought me a very very long way since 2007. I have the best husband in the entire world. He treats me with respect. He shows that he loves me physically, mentally, emotionally...He actually wants to be associated with me in public, he says loving things to me, he prays for me, he financially takes care of me...I am blessed. I don't deserve any of it, yet God decided to bless me with this man.

This year I refuse to live in bondage over my past. Yes, I wish I could go back and change May 4, 2007. I wish the people in Greensburg didn't have to go through the pain of losing everything that night. I wish I would've sought more of God's guidance to prevent the next three months. I can wish all I want though, but it's happened, and just as the people in a tornado ridden town have to rebuild so do I.

Here's hoping for no more nightmares...and if I do, I refuse to dwell on it and feel guilty or ridden with fear. Instead I will rebuke Satan in the name of Jesus, hold onto my joy that He has brought me to where I am today, and go back to sleep peacefully in His arms.

Wonka Observations

2011-03-15T09:42:00.000-07:00

As a child I never gave a second thought to Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. While watching today I noticed a few things after having some life experience.

How come my teachers never dismissed my classes when there were give aways inside candy bars? I totally got jipped.
I didn't understand the little random scenes as a child...you'll be glad to know that I would give up my case of Wonka bars if my husband's life depended on it.
I want to punch Veruca Salt in the face...wait, I wanted to do that when I was a kid too.
I want to punch Mr. and Mrs. Salt in the face too.
How the heck does Slugworth know the order the candy bars will be opened?
What kind of parent wouldn't be alarmed that a creepy looking stranger man, with a huge scar across his face that appears to be from a knifing, is whispering in their child's ear? Parents in the 70's were far too trusting.
I would like to name my future child Charlie just so I can stand in an alley and sing to him. The song is perfectly in my vocal range. It only makes sense to name him Charlie because of this.
I think I've taught Mike Teevee.
On the subject of teaching, how come the teacher can't figure out the percentage for 2 candy bars? He probably shouldn't have gotten his degree...or at least he should have read his teacher's edition.
Grandpa Joe is a lazy bum. "Bed Ridden for 20 years" my butt. I'm onto you Grandpa Joe.
Speaking of bed ridden for 20 years and never setting foot on the floor during that time, there are 4 old people sleeping in one bed...for 20 years...that just screams bed bugs to me.
If chocolate can bring an old man out of bed after 20 years, he can overcome his atrophy, and be dancing circles within minutes, my theory that chocolate fixes everything has some truth to it.
Gene Wilder scares me.
I can't think of a better way to go than drowning in chocolate.
Oompa-Loompas' skin color reminds me of some of the contestants on The Bachelor.
How disgusting would an Everlasting Gobstopper be? Slobbery and sticky.
I can only imagine how fast strep would spread with lickable wallpaper.
Who knew you could float when you were attached by a string to your pants?!
Always, always read the small print.
I live in a town that looks like Charlie's town.

Cadbury Craziness!!

2011-02-24T09:16:00.000-08:00

Seriously it's like heaven here. The weather really stinks right now, but it's been Easter here for about a month! A month I say! That means Easter candy galore. It seems my British friends passed up Valentines Day for the most part and went straight to Easter.

And we all know what Easter means right?!? That's right, my friends!! CADBURY CREME EGGS!! All of that unknown goo all wrapped in delicious, silky smooth Cadbury chocolate.

One of the beauties of living in England is you can find Cadbury chocolate on every corner. It's like what Hershey's is to the US of A...only way creamier.

Over here you can buy Cadbury Creme Eggs in bulk. Yes, you heard me right all you chocolate creamy goopy fiends. You can buy them with great self-control and only get one. Or. You can step it up a notch and upgrade to the 6 pack. OR!!! If you feel a need to go into a sugar coma you can purchase the mother of all Cadbury Creme Eggs and haul a 12 pack out the door.

I've done really well and haven't partaken in any of this ridiculousness. It's only a matter of time though until I come skipping into my house with about twenty 12 packs.

I thought I had really good self-control...until I saw these babies...

I found these at Tesco...for £1.11...and I'm all about finding deals. So I had to buy them. I just had to...to make my husband proud. It had nothing to do with the fact they they are Cadbury Creme Eggs in the form of ice cream cones. It was all in the name of cheapness. I mean if you break it down it's like 28 pence each! BARGAIN!!

Do they even have these in the states?! And if so, have I just missed them all these years?

Since I bought them I had to taste one...just in case they were bad. I wouldn't want to feed my husband something that was not so tasty. So I did.

And this is how I felt after the experience.

It had the light, fluffy consistency that good British ice cream has with all that goo whirled into it. Sadly I couldn't really taste the goo. But that may have been a defective cone. I may need another one just to check. I would have given it two thumbs up if I could have tasted the whirly goo (and if I didn't have to use my other hand to take the picture).

All in all, I would say I would gladly pay 28p to eat another one of those...the last bite of Cadbury chocolate at the bottom of the cone is worth it.

Meat Paste, Anyone?!

2011-02-15T07:15:00.000-08:00

Chicken Paste? Sounds delicious spread in between two pieces of bread, eh? No worries, if you aren't feeling a hankerin' for chicken paste, here in the amazing country of England, you can purchase your favorite meat in the form of paste and eat it as a sandwich...or perhaps with a spoon?

Don't forget to save room for dessert!

Don't Wash Your Car in 40 MPH Wind

2011-02-05T13:36:00.000-08:00

Seriously, this is embarrassing, but I'm just gonna put it out there for the world to see anyway.

Really, it was completely pointless for me to blur out the license plate on this picture...you couldn't see it anyway!

I admit I hate washing my car. With. A. Passion. I could take it to get it washed by someone by hand here in town, but that would require me to pay said person £15-£60...Really?!? People line up at that place. It's ridiculous. The reason I hate it so is because the roads we drive on daily over here are downright disgusting! My car will look this way within a day or two after washing it. We use windshield wiper fluid like candy over here. Sometimes I feel like I need to just let it constantly stream. If a tractor or any large vehicle is going to opposite direction or if I'm following one, I'll end up with big splotches of mud all over the windshield making it impossible to see. Which tends to be a problem while driving.

So yesterday I ended up giving in and washing the darn thing. Doug has been begging me for weeks and he's too busy to do so I thought yesterday was the best day to do it. The day that the wind was blowing 40 mph. I'm not sure why I thought yesterday was the day, but I did. And I have barely survived to talk about it.

Problem #1: The wind is blowing...hard.

The wind blew the bottle of car soap over spilling half of it all over our sidewalk right outside the back door. Awesome.
The wind blew the gate shut repeatedly and I needed it open. I tried propping it open with a huge potted plant that is quite heavy. The wind blew that over and slammed the gate shut again making me want to drop to the ground and take cover.
The wind blew the garage door shut. Don't ask how it happened, but it did several times.

Problem #2: England has the dumbest hoses known to man.

It took us several weeks to get the right connections for our hose.
For some reason today I hooked it up and it decided to spray out of the spray nozzle and out of the connection area thus soaking me.
Refer to Problem #1...it was COLD!
I ended up just removing the attachment and using my thumb to spray the water.
Refer to Problem #1...my hands immediately froze.
I hate our hose.

Problem #3: The car had approximately 4 months of grotiness caked on it.

I washed the car once and then hand dried it.
It was still dirty.
The neighbors were sitting their warm house laughing at me.
I washed the car again and then hand dried it.
It was still dirty.
I gave up.

After washing my car two times and it taking over an hour and me quitting here were the results:

I got a new car!!!

I had a good hair day!!

Or not.

I got clean hands after using the soapy water to clean the car.

Makes you wanna eat some fried chicken with your fingers, huh?

Kitchen Failures

2011-02-03T12:25:00.000-08:00

Here's what I made for dinner tonight.

This is what is called a Ginger-Apple Stuffed Porkchop.

Let me tell you, cutting a "pocket" into a 1 inch thick porkchop takes skill so as not to end up with Finger-Apple Stuffed Porkchops.

I would give you all this recipe, but it didn't go over so well in my household tonight. Yes, it may look delectable, but alas it wasn't that fantastic. Not bad, but just not "Hey, I should make these again" quality. I have yet to discover how to make a porkchop juicy. Either porkchops are a naturally tough cut of pig or perhaps porkchops just don't like me. I'm just about ready to give up on them.

I will say that rice in the background was quite tasty though. I sauteed the rest of my zucchini from earlier this week, made some rice, then combined it all with some cheese. I could eat that at every meal.

Speaking of zucchini, I had another "disappointment" earlier this week. I made Zucchini Brownies...which is actually zucchini cake. I thought it was pretty good, but someone else didn't like it as much. Seriously, it's chocolate flavored with chocolate, peanut butter frosting...I thought it was lovely.

Marcia, if you are out there, yours is supposedly the best so feel free to send me that recipe and I'll try again!

My future?

2011-02-01T14:03:00.000-08:00

So I had a bored moment today and saw a vision of my future child. Yes, my friends, I know what my future child will look like. Everyone, I would like you to meet Matilda...

Apparently, when you morph Doug's face and my face together this is what you get...a blurry little girl. I'm really hoping she won't be so blurry in real life though. It's rather trippy and I don't think my brain could handle that for long periods of time.

When Doug and I do have a kid we are going to come back and reference this picture...and if our kid doesn't look like this I want my money back. Or I would at least like the time I spent doing this back.

The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow...Probably Not Though.

2011-01-31T13:35:00.000-08:00

The sun came out today!!! Nuff' said.

When the sun comes out here you literally feel better. It doesn't peek out too terribly often and usually if it starts out sunny it will be cloudy by the end of the day. Today though it was out all day long!!! Oh and this was the highest the sun got today.

Not gonna lie I laid on the floor of my living room in the sun today...just because I could!! I felt like a puppy. And I was okay with it. I had no shame. None whatsoever. It was so shiny, bright, warm, and snuggly feeling.

Yes, I wanted to snuggle with the sun.

Back in the Saddle

2011-01-30T09:58:00.000-08:00

Alright, I'm going to take another approach at blogging. I've seen lots of people do this and it seems to work nicely. I'm going to post a picture a day...or try my best at least...and talk about it. So, if you have done this in the past, thanks for letting me steal your idea! :-)

For my first official picture I'm actually not using one from today. I understand I am a cheater and I'm okay with this...in regards to a blog. No other time is cheating a good thing...I cheated a couple of times in high school and I am ashamed to this day...I cheated in my Bible class...I am really really ashamed to this day. Don't cheat, kids.

On with my blog cheating.

As most people know, Doug was in a car accident this last week. Yesterday we went to the wrecking company to have a look and make sure he got everything out of the car. This is the car that greeted us. We are still in absolute amazement that he walked away without any injuries other than the scratches and bruises he obtained as souvenirs. God was definitely looking out for him that night! The pictures I took yesterday, I believe, are a testimony to God's protection and faithfulness!

We went and looked at a car today and we both REALLY liked it. It's in our budget and it basically looks exactly like his old car only with the broken windows, dents, scratches, the steering wheel is on the opposite side and it's a stick shift.

Stick shift. Yes, a stick shift. I have a feeling my dad is either laughing right now or cringing....maybe having some flashbacks?

Speed

2010-09-24T09:54:00.000-07:00

One month later...

I asked in my last post if anyone knew what this sign was for here in the United Kingdom:

Amanda, had a good guess because it would appear that this road leads to nowhere, but alas this would be our "National Speed Limit" sign. Let me explain.

The above road would be a 60 mph zone. I dare you to drive 60 down that road.

But not all of these signs mean 60 mph. They vary based on the type of road you are on.

If you are on a single carriageway:

the national speed limit is 60 mph.

If you are on a dual carriageway:

or a motorway:

the national speed limit is 70 mph.

If it's not a national speed limit area then it's just whatever is posted.

Confusing much? Actually it's not so bad and makes sense, except when you have a road like the first picture and wonder who in their right mind would drive 60 down that road?

What's That Sign?

2010-08-19T08:32:00.000-07:00

Today we are having a "What's that British Roadsign?" quiz.

If you currently live in the UK or used to live in the UK you are not allowed to play...sorry! But if you want to answer to throw others off I'm all about that! Those of you who can play...NO GOOGLING ALLOWED!!!! If you Google it you will be declared a British Roadsign Cheater and nobody wants that title. Trust me. Oh and Demo, no asking your British work buddy. If you do, you fail. Nuff said. :)

Here's your British Roadsign for the day:

And Go!

My Mom Taught Me Not To Stare

2010-07-24T12:09:00.000-07:00

I know I've been gone a while...but I can't pass up this opportunity to teach you something. It might have something to do with my college major. And since I'm not using that degree right now I need an outlet. So I'm using you. Thanks!

I went to the market today. This is a very big deal where I live. There is a market on Thursdays and on Saturdays. You can find a variety of objects at the market like flowers, junk from someone's house, bacon, ostrich burgers, and fresh seafood. There is something for everybody, even one ride for the kiddies. It goes in circles so whatever they just ate, whether it be an ostrich burger, ostrich hot dog, cupcakes from Miss Gingerbread, or battered sausage, has a chance to make a reappearance in the middle of the mob of people in the town center. Perfect. But I digress.

I decided today to try a recipe I've been wanting to give a whirl at for about a month. It called for peeled, deveined jumbo shrimp. I thought that the fresh seafood man needed a visit. The price was basically 2 pounds for 100 grams of fresh prawns so I thought to myself, "Self, I have not a clue how much 100 grams is because I didn't pay attention to metrics in school so maybe I should go to the grocery store down the street and buy some backup baby prawns." So I did it. With my backup baby prawns in tow I then stopped at the fresh place to get my ginormous shrimp. When I got up there instead of asking if he had fresh, deveined, peeled prawns, this is what I said, "I need 100 grams of fresh prawns." He was happy to oblige and this is what I ended up with:

In case you were wondering, these are not peeled, nor are they deveined. I saw what he was doing, but felt dumb and didn't stop him. I tried to act like I knew what I was doing...like I wasn't from Kansas where our shrimp don't have shells, eyes, legs or gargantuan feelers. In Kansas they come in a package in a freezer.

So I got home and laid them out just like this on the cutting board and stared at them for a while. Confused. While I was staring at them, they were staring back at me:

Then I got a brilliant idea. There is this cool thing called Google, I don't know if you've heard of it, but I hear it's a pretty big thing. So I googled how to peel and devein these little suckers. Oddly, the written directions were different than the video that accompanied it so I did a little bit of both and I think it was pretty successful. So today I'm going to teach you step by step how to peel and devein prawns.

In the course of this tutorial try not to imagine this:

Imagining Pepe will make this a whole lot harder and you'll feel a lot guiltier. Trust me.

So here we go.

Step 1: Attempt to not throw up. This may be hard, as the smell is quite strong and the little critters appear like they could hop up and scamper around your kitchen at any moment. Don't worry, they're dead. They won't scamper. Also in the course of the peeling process you may see some things that will make you want to lose that ostrich burger you ate for lunch. Don't. You can do this.

Step 2: Twist the head of the prawn off. No joke. It'll pop off a lot easier than you may think.

Try not to think too much about what just oozed out of the head...if you do think about it too much refer back to Step 1.

Also as a side note...this may happen:

Yes, sometimes the legs and part of the head may not want to depart the body. If this is the case, just get a knife out and finish the job. Oh yes, and those red smears on the cutting board don't come off...

Step 3: Peel of the shell by grabbing the legs and pulling them apart.

Things are starting to look a little more like their supposed to. the world is becoming right again.

Step 4: Deveining. Apparently I was lucky because I didn't find the veins in my prawn. I think I squished it all out in the ripping the head off portion. But in case you do have a vein still in there...which yes, is their digestive tract...just use a sharp knife and slice it right down its back and pull the vein out.

Step 5: Wrap all of the heads, legs, and shells in newspaper and put it in a paper bag in your garage for the next two weeks to rot, where it will make you garage smell like flowers...

Oh wait...that's just me.

And yes, that is a man shooting peas through a blow gun in that picture. He was practicing for the pea shooting contest. That contest comes a couple months after the eel throwing contest...not lying. But that's a whole other post.

Step 6: Cook 'em up!

They only take like 3 minutes to cook. Aren't their babies cute?

Step 7: Chow down!

And pay no attention to the messy kitchen...it's a figment of your imagination.

So, there you have it how to peel and devein a prawn. You may now go about your regular activities.

First 4 Days

2010-05-16T11:50:00.000-07:00

Here's what we've been up to over the past 4 days:

May 12th:

Ate at Spangles with la familia.
Went to airport.
Said goodbye to la familia.
Flight got delayed for 20 minutes.
Flight got delayed for 45 minutes.
Flight got delayed for 95 minutes.
Got on airplane.
Sat on runway for 30 more minutes.
Flew to Chicago.
Doug runs to other flight on other side of airport which was leaving in 15 minutes.
I wait for baggage and then run to other flight on other side of airport which is leaving in 10 minutes.
I make it even though I was taken off the passenger list. They let me on.
Doug makes his first British friend. Or not.
Fly over ocean and watch 4 movies in the process. Don't sleep

May 13th:

Fly over ocean and watch 4 movies in the process. Don't sleep.
Go through customs.
Wait for bus at airport for 90 minutes.
Ride 2 hours.
Fight sleep while riding said bus.
Fail.
Walk 1/4 of mile with 4 suitcases, 2 laptop bags, 1 camera bag and a garment bag to room.
Let Doug carry 40-60 lb bags upstairs. It's the least I can do. It makes him feel all manly and stuff.
Take ~~1 1/2 hour~~ 1 hour nap.
Attempt to get out of bed.
Succeed. Barely.
Take shower in lukewarm water. All I want is to be warm...it's so cold everywhere I go.
Almost faceplant when stepping out of shower. It's no good when your legs are short and your tub is tall.
Realize I can't plug in my straightener without blowing it up.
Mourn.
Meet our sponsor's to drive us around the area. I'm sure she's impressed with my awesome hairdo.
Ride in the left hand front seat.
Panic.
Confusion.
Scared for ~~lives of others~~ my life when I'm allowed out on the road behind the wheel.
Eat Indian food and drink tap water with 1 ice cube.
Go grocery shopping and buy cereal but forget milk. Need nap.
Come home.
Go to bed.

May 14th

Wake up.
Don't want to get out of bed.
Take a shower in lukewarm water again. Still cold. Didn't faceplant it.
Eat Goldfish. (Remember we forgot milk)
Follow the husband around for work stuff. Meet nice people with accents.
Try to do combination to get into mailbox. Attemps: 4
Figure out they gave us wrong combination.
Try to do new combination to get into mailbox. Attempt:1
Buy milk.
Eat a sandwich.
Attempt to not go to sleep all day long.
Go car shopping.
Success.
Walk to pub.
Order Bangers and Mash and Mushy Peas.
Sit.
Wait.
Old British man and next table who hasn't been served in 55 minutes throws fit by banging his cane on the ground and make himself heard.
Decide I need a cane...or at least a large stick.
Get food 90 minutes after ordering.
Decide food is not so good and heated in a microwave since it's cold in the middle and don't finish.
Get glared at by a nice British lady who is appalled that we didn't make happy plates.
Walk to Burger King and get a cheeseburger.
Husband is in a better mood now that he has decent food in his stomach.
Come back to the room and watch a movie.
Discover there are no subtitles for Arabic parts, but decide to try to figure it out on our own.
Too tired to finish movie.
Discover heater doesn't work anymore.
Go to bed.

May 15th

Wake up at 4:30 a.m.
Try to decide if lack of sleep is due to jet lag, stupid crow outside our window, pigeon with something stuck in his throat outside our window responding to stupid crow, or buckwheat-like pillow.
Get up and talk to the fam and Amanda on Skype since they haven't gone to bed yet.
Eat cereal with milk.
Go back to bed and sleep for 2 1/2 hours.
Wake up again.
Take a shower with hot water!
Eat a sandwich. Pray that I start liking sandwiches.
Cry about prospect of test driving a car on the left-hand side of the road. Yes, there were tears.
Go car shopping again.
Make Doug test drive Lexus and BMW.
Decide on Lexus.
Walk home.
Finish movie without subtitles.
Internet goes out.
Sponsor's wife picks us up for dinner at their house.
Stop and purchase a straightener. And the people rejoiced.
Eat "Armadillo Eggs", aka cream cheese filled jalapenos covered in charizo.
Act brave like hot stuff doesn't bother me while dying.
Eat ribs.
Go home.
Go to bed.

Sick.

2010-04-19T20:18:00.000-07:00

I had a hairy spider on the outside of my driver's side door all the way home from work today. On a highway that is 70 mph. He was acting like he was trying to dig through my window to get me. My heart rate was sky high because I believe he could've done it. I prayed he would blow off of the window, but he nestled him self in a little shelter from the 70 mph wind. Smart spider. He crawled into a crack on window/door when I pulled into my parking lot. The maintenance lady was probably wondering why I bolted out of my car and made a run for my building. It's because he appeared to be a jumping spider. Who am I kidding? Ever spider is a jumping spider.

Blind as a Bat

2010-03-24T13:35:00.000-07:00

I got to go to the eye doctor today. Notice I say "got". I'm trying to think positively. I hate going to the eye doctor. I probably hate it more than any other doctor out there. So far. I even had a skin biopsy this week which involved sharp objects and stitches. I was dreading the eye doctor more than the sharp objects and stitches.

I have very bad eyes. I don't remember what it is like to wake up in the morning and be able to see stuff besides blurred images. I don't know what my husband looks like when he wakes up. I'm sure he looks totally hot though. Don't we all when we wake up? He probably wishes he had my eyesight when he wakes up in the morning and sees me.

Anyway, I asked my eye doctor (who was a stand-in for my doctor who is currently on maternity leave) what my vision was. Like, I know it's not 20/20. He couldn't tell me. I had my contacts out when I asked him this question so I was talking to a blurred object that was moving around in front of me...about 5 feet in front of me...okay, more like 3 feet. I had a Mary Ingalls moment, except my eyes aren't that pretty blue and I wasn't wearing a prairie girl dress, but I did want to reach out in front of me and touch his face. Not in a weird way though. In a blind way.

The blurry, moving object, with a man voice also told me I would probably be a good candidate for LASIK eye surgery as long as my cornea is thick enough and my pupils aren't as big as baseballs when the lights are out. So, if you would like to donate to the cause it costs a mere $2500 an eye. You can make the check out to me. Or I'd take $300 an eye and go to Mexico if need be. Maybe that would be a bad life choice though.

Anyway, on with my story, the blurry object, with a man voice told me he was going to tell his assistant to get me some new contacts (for free!) and she was going to explain about my new contact solution. It's fancier than my old stuff and has less preservatives apparently. So, blurry object with a man voice was soon replaced with a shorter blurry object, with a woman voice. She handed me two new contacts. Thankfully I aimed my hand right and grabbed them without missing.

Now my prescription for contacts is -6.5. For those of you ~~peculiar~~ lucky people out there with perfect 20/20 eyes this means I can't see squat pretty much without contacts or glasses. Everything is completely blurry like I've mentioned before. The blurry object with a woman voice had gotten the contacts for me so surely she comprehends that I have no idea what she looks like let alone what the blurry stuff in her hand is (at least I think that's her hand). The blurry object with a woman voice starts explaining how to use the new contact solution saying things and pointing to things.

BOWAWV: Now, you're going to put your contacts in this little contraption.
*holds contraption in air...I think*

Me: *thinking* Can't see. *saying* Okay
*fumbling to open the new contacts in my lap*

BOWAWV: Then you're going to squirt the solution up to this line.
*point to alleged line...I assume*

Me: *still thinking* Still can't see, lady! *saying* MmmHmm
*struggling with new contacts that I'm currently feeling for in the package*

BOWAWV: You can see how the lid with the contacts will then fit into container with the contact solution.
*puts lid on...maybe."

Me: *thinking* Has she worked with people who are blind before?! *saying* Ahhh, I see!
*finally wrangle a contact and slip it into my right eye*

BOWAWV: Now, I'll put it all back in the box for you and you're good to go!
*puts it in box...I know cuz I'm looking at her with one eye open and one eye shut*

Me: *thinking* Dang it, I missed the show. Hope I can figure out how to soak my contacts tonight correctly. *saying* Thanks!
*attempts to start on the next contact*

Good thing there are directions on the back of the box just in case I couldn't see anything that she was doing.

Abilene or Bust

2010-03-23T12:45:00.000-07:00

On Sunday we took "an adventure", as Doug would say.

The Adventurers: Phil, Janel, Doug, Me
The Adventure Location: Abilene, KS -- more specifically The Eisenhower Library and Museum

I know you all are thinking we are wild people. We know excitement when we see it. And this was it. This was a trip that both Doug and Phil were sooooo very excited about. Doug brought it up and it happened to be on Phil's list of places to visit. So it was a done deal.

I discovered on this trip what an absolutely horrible Kansan I truly am. Not lyin'. I've been a Kansan for 27 1/2 years and never been to this place and I didn't realize all the things that Eisenhower did. I think I felt a bit prouder of my state after I got done here.

Anyway, here's a little rundown of the funny things of this trip. Not tons, but there were definitely some giggles.

We first stopped at the Russell Stover Chocolate Factory...seriously can't pass up buying 3 lbs of chocolate for $10 and testing out some of that gloriousness. We had an idea of where to eat for lunch since I had done some research before. The only problem is I couldn't remember the name of it. All I knew is that it was in an old farmhouse and it was good country cookin' (AKA fried). The iPhone wasn't working out so well being in the Middle of Nowhere, KS (apparently "more bars in more places" doesn't include Abilene, KS). Doug decided to ask the lady at the cash register where to eat since she appeared to be a native and surely she would recommend this place since it had awesome reviews online. So, Doug asks...the lady responds, "I would highly recommend the bowling alley."

We all kind of looked at each other like, "Is this a town inside joke?" But no she was serious. It's the bowling alley behind the Super 8. Thankfully around that time I got a bar of service on Doug's phone and found the name of the place we wanted. We sadly decided to not eat at the bowling alley and went with Mr. K's Farmhouse where we got a salad a full fledged fried meal, dessert and a drink for 8.95.

As you can imagine with two couples on a trip there is bound to be some hand holding going on. What more romantic place to hold hands than in a presidential museum that also focuses a lot on WWII? I mean really. Janel and I were standing together admiring some type of memorabilia. Doug and Phil were standing behind us looking at something else. Apparently Phil didn't get the memo that Janel was over by me and Doug was actually by Phil. I guess something about the war or the bust of Dwight D. Eisenhower made Phil have that fuzzy feeling inside so he reached out to hold "Janel's" hand. He waited and waited for her to take it. When he turned around to find out why she hadn't had the same feelings as him about Eisenhower's bust he found Doug just staring at him funny. At this point Janel and I turned around and caught the "Awkward Moose Moment", Phil turning bright red, denying it up and down, and Doug laughing at him hysterically. I think people thought we were weird. Sorry we couldn't get them to reenact this so no pics.

The boys like to read...everything. Janel and I like to look at pretty dresses and jewelry. There was a lot more reading than pretty dresses and jewelry. The boys are going to take us shopping where there isn't much reading...they just don't know it yet.

I think the highlight of the boys' day was looking at the solar panels for the water tanks.

Must be an engineer thing. Notice Janel and I didn't venture over there. We don't understand their language when they go into engineer mode.

There weren't very many people there, especially around closing time so we didn't have any pics of the four of us together. We had me and Doug:

And we had Phil and Janel:

We finally found a rather elderly security guard who was kind enough to attempt my camera. I handed it to him and showed him how to use it and he said, "Ooooo is this one of those digital cameras? My grandkids play with these things!" He struggled for a while and didn't really use the zoom to help frame the picture or he just moved from right to left to front to back. The first pic didn't turn out so well.

Poor President Eisenhower's head. So Doug had him try again and it was a success.

We were so excited to be able to spend this day with our friends!

Pics from here , here

Day 1 - Yesterday

2010-03-09T16:12:00.000-08:00

Day 1 of P90x Complete - Survived

At first I didn't think there was much to this workout...arms and back...until I was doing more push ups than I've ever done in my life and doing them in more ways than I've ever known. I tried doing them on my toes, but faceplanted it. Thank goodness for carpet. Don't mind the rug burn on my forehead.

There were several times during the hour in a half that I was either laying flat on my face unable to move or rolling on the floor laughing...then I almost cried when I got so frustrated and then I threw my resistance band because it wasn't doing what I was telling it. Disobedient resistance band.

Basically I was no good at it...no good at all. Maybe next time. Which is tonight.

Tonight we do Plyometrics...look it up. It'll be the scariest read you've ever had in your life. I'm pretty sure our downstairs neighbors are really gonna wonder what is going on up here.

Monday --- 3 More Sleeps

2010-03-05T08:59:00.000-08:00

Well, it's official, Doug and I are not starting P90x until Monday in the wee hours of the morning.

We opened the P90x box only to discover 2 decent sized booklets and a whole bunch of DVD's. We went through the booklets and decided that starting on a Monday would fit us best since we want to take Sundays off. So, we decided to just sit on the couch and enjoy watching a workout. Yes, watch it. We didn't really exert ourselves except that Doug pushed the forward button to make the workout go faster and I sat in a corner in the fetal position, crying. It was one of the scariest things I've ever seen.

In the mean time I have half of a Pioneer Woman chocolate sheet cake to take care of.

The Death of Me

2010-03-02T16:45:00.000-08:00

So tonight Doug and I are starting P90x...should I be afraid? Probably.

But if P90x can give me a tan and less funky chest hair like this guy...

...then it will most definitely be worth my time and money. I'm even considering purchasing a pair of those snazzy shorts.

Oh and I'm so kidding about the chest hair.

These Hands...

2010-01-25T21:19:00.000-08:00

Approximately 1200 hands at a time every hour last weekend....

...will help change the lives of 1.5 million homeless Haitian earthquake victims.

These hands:

...will help these children have hope in their future.

These hands:

...will help people like Baby Esther's mom have the chance to raise their babies.

These hands...

...will help people like these, rebuild their church buildings.

These hands...

...will bring comfort to a woman like this who has lost her family.

These hands...

...will help people like her live to see another day.

These hands...

...will help people like these gain strength so their bodies will heal.

These hands...

...will help a country that literally has fallen apart, rebuild.

Hand pictures taken at the Numana Million Meal Packaging Event January 23rd and 24th, 2010.

Haiti pictures taken from Fox News and Mail Online

Meltaway Monday

2010-01-25T19:34:00.000-08:00

Week 1: 0
Total: 0

Basically this means that I lost nothing, but I gained nothing as well...which is good. I was worried about today's weigh in because I had a bit of a weird week/weekend. I was out at the Colliseum packing meals for Haiti most of the weekend so this kinda through off my normal eating habits and involved quite a bit of eating out. So gaining nothing was more of a goal than anything else! I hit the gym pretty hard today and hopefully will be able to make it again tomorrow. Doug and I are going to start P90x when he gets back...I sure hope I see results after that considering the pain that I have a feeling I will be in.

Mall Observations

2010-01-21T18:04:00.000-08:00

First of all, sorry about my template change. I'm having some issues and am about ready to throw my computer out the window...or write Blogger and really nasty hate note. Hopefully I'll get it changed soon.

I went to the mall today to burn some time since I'm not getting any sub jobs and I have some gift cards to use. What better way to spend money than when you don't have to spend your own?!? I made some observations while I was there.

1. Why is it when I observe two women kissing I'm completely repulsed yet feel like I have to look again? Gross.

2. Eighty-plus-year-old married couples are way cute...especially when they are curiously trying to figure out what a spray tan is that you can buy at Dillards.

Husband: I think it's a tan in a box, dear.
Wife: How can you get a tan if there is no sun?

3. How come every time I see a 50% off sign at Dillards I get all excited? I know that 50% still means, "I'm marked down to $100! You still can't have me!!!"

4. Little Chinese ladies that wear shorts with compromising tights, pastel pink and purple leg warmers, paired with old lady shoes are also oddly cute. Especially when they walk really fast. It's like a blurry rainbow.

5. Why is when I walk into Express I automatically start my runway model walk?

6. While we're on the subject of Express why do all of their mannequins stand with their pelvises jutted out and hands on their wanna be hips? Does anyone really stand like that? And if they do, do they think it's attractive? Cuz it's not. Trust me I tested it in the mirror when I got home. Not. Attractive. At. All.

7. I think I remember liking Claire's at one point in my life because they had lots of cute, cheap jewelry. Is this true or has it always been a store full of Hannah Montanaesque stuff for 10-year-olds? It was awkward in there...like I should have been shopping for my non-existent prepubescent daughter.

8. Having conversations on the escalator in Von Maur can also be awkward.

Girl in Front of Me: Do he be sittin' there all day?
Me: Excuse me?
GIFOM: Do he be sittin' at that piano all day?
Me: Oh...yes, I think so.
GIFOM: I wanna be sittin' there all day.
Me: That would be nice if I could play the piano. (Dear Jesus, make this escalator go faster!)
GIFOM: I can't believe he be sittin' there all day.

9. In Maurice's, if you are the only customer there, the workers (all of them) will run to you like mosquitoes to a bug zapper. You will then want to run away crying and rock in the corner.

Starting Next Week

2010-01-20T18:57:00.000-08:00

A little over a year ago we got married:

And I fit perfectly into that there dress. I'm not so sure that dress would fit anymore if I even tried to squeeze into it. Since this picture was taken I have gained a lovely 10 lbs...I'm sure it isn't because I'm cooking things like this for my fantastic husband:

And it definitely couldn't be because of this gloriousness:

Or who could ever forget this:

I prefer to forget this:

I only made that stuff once...that just might be the culprit...as a matter of fact I bet it is. Curses to you, SPAM.

A culmination of all of this food plus trying to figure out how to find the time to cook this food and go to the gym has resulted in a slight bit of the weight gain. I thought it would stay away if I just willed it to do so...this method does not work in case you were all wondering. Because it doesn't work I'm gonna have to go about it the old fashioned way.

All of this rambling is bringing me to this point. I will be reporting in every Monday to all 4 of my readers as to my progress starting next Monday. We shall forevermore refer to Mondays as Meltaway and/or Meltdown Mondays...depending upon the results...Okay, we'll be positive and just stick with Meltaway Mondays. I'm not quite sure how it will turn out, but we're gonna give it a shot. My goal is 10 lbs and I'm not so sure on a timeframe at this point. Ideally by May would be great, but I'd be happy to have it off by October. We shall see.

So, here's to a week (or half week at this point) of working out and eating foods of small portion!

ay 7 - Apparently We Hiked This Day and Saw Some Animals, But I'm Gonna Have to Try and Remember Because I've Slept Since Then

2010-01-19T19:43:00.000-08:00

This was the last day of our vacation. I really struggled with remembering what we did on this day, but after much grunting and thinking (I don't usually grunt when I think...just when I try to think of detailed things I did 6 months ago) I think I remembered...either that or I dreamed it.

We moved yet again to another hotel...this time back to the one we started at. Let me refresh your memory...and by your memory I mean my memory.
This room will be my inspiration for our next bedroom. I love me some pink walls, rugs and 90's floral print comforters. Don't tell Doug...it's gonna be a special surprise from me to him. He's gonna be so excited! There may be a happy dance involved.

Anyway, back to our last day of vacation. I'm sad to report that there were no microbears involved at this hotel.

So, at some point on this leg of the trip we took a little boat road across a lake. The lady told us lots of cool stories about this lake, but I don't remember them. I do remember thinking, "This is awesome! I need to remember these stories for my blog!" Fail.

I do remember I took some pictures.

We got off the boat on the other side of the lake and took a short hike to this waterfall.

After a boat ride back to where we started, and more stories that I can't remember, we took another hike...our last of the trip. It was amazing and we got to see the most amazing waterfall ever...it's a good thing I forgot my camera in the car. So, because I forgot my camera in the car I will now steal a picture from the internet:

Thank you:
http://www.rockymtnrefl.com/StMaryFallscd2109.jpg

Seriously, this picture does no justice to the color of these falls...never seen anything like it.

We spent quite a bit of time here and watched crazy high school girls take pics of themselves hanging over the edge of the rocks precariously...I kinda felt bad that I wasn't gonna jump in after them if they plunged. Good thing they didn't.

Well, we went back to the hotel and left the next day for the airport. There won't be a story for the next day of our trip because for once in our married lives we actually made every flight we were supposed to catch. Miracles do happen.

Thanks for coming on our Glacier National Park trip with us. It was a great 6 months.

Now to start scrapbooking our honeymoon.

Day 6 - To Ride Horses with the Drunk Indians or Not to Ride Horses with the Drunk Indians? That is the Question.

2010-01-13T19:44:00.000-08:00

Well, something like 6ish months later we are picking up our story from the vacation to Montana. Thanks to my trusty, dusty iPhone I can remember what happened on this day...vaguely. Not blogging about a trip for 6 months is kinda like a challenge, it makes my brain hurt.

So where were we? Oh yes, in the most amazing cabin of our lives...except that they had made that slight mistake and overbooked us so we were getting kicked out. Oh yea, also I woke up that morning to another microbear in the wall. I think it needed to snuggle cuz it was trying to scratch its way into my bedroom and this time my husband was not there to protect me...he was out being an adventure man taking pictures like this:

Don't worry, I like looking at pictures and not risking my life by getting charged by rams (yep, he almost did) so I'm okay that he got up at who knows what time and went here while I snoozed away with the microbear clawing at the wall.

Anyway, on this day we moved to our next home:

I must have really been slacking because I don't have a picture of the outside of this place. We were worried, because they didn't look so hot from the outside, but they weren't bad actually, just exceptionally tiny for 4 people and luggage. They were definitely better than our other option...the tepees.

This day we were on a hunt for horseback riding. Lucky for us there was a horseback riding place right across the street! So we pull right in and we were all about horseback riding...until we walked into the little shack where the horseback riding professionals (I think I refer to them as Indians in the title, but I'm probably really supposed to say Native Americans...from here on out I will refer to them as "the people who ran this joint") were hiding out. Our first hint that this wasn't a good idea might have been that there were no other cars here, but we are adventurous...to an extent. The fact that the people who ran this joint were downing their beers like no tomorrow and we had just filled up on a breakfast of French toast should have been our first red flag. Then I remembered a little story I overheard from someone at the last place we were at and that went something like this.

Lady: We were in St. Mary's and wanted to take the kids horseback riding and we found this little place off the road that did just that.
Man: Oh that's fantastic news! I'm sure the kiddos loved it.
Lady: Well, not so fast. This place was run by a couple drunk guys and there were only 2 riding helmets...except they were actually bike helmets.
Man: That's not so bad....except for the drunk part.
Lady: We asked the inebriated fellows what the age limit was and they responded by showing us with their hands a height of about 3 feet and said, "About this old." That's not an age! We decided not to risk the future generations of our family with those nuts and we came here.

By "here" this lady meant the last place we stayed at...Many Glacier Hotel. So, the four of us decided to not risk the future generations of our families either and we drove back to Many Glacier. Sad to say there were no cameras allowed on this trip. Or jackets for that matter, unless you were wearing them. It was too warm for that.

We signed our souls away to those horses. Thankfully we didn't get in a situation where we were tempted to sue one of them. We got lectured by the horse riding man...and he was serious...he almost ripped a lady's head off when she was fussing with her helmet instead of paying full attention to him. It got ugly when she talked back to him, but I held in my laughter quite well, but I think I might have hid my face in embarrassment for her. Nothing like two grown adults talking back at each other like one's a parent and the other is the 6-year-old child.

Anyway, Doug rode Gus and I got to ride Bart. Or was the other way around? My iPhone isn't clear. I'll stick with Doug and Gus and me and Bart.

Oh, I just remembered! I'm short as most of you know so the stirrups were quite high on my horse so the horsegirl had to help me into the saddle. In process of me attempting to look like I knew what I was doing I managed to kick her in the face on the way up. There was no blood and she laughed at me. I'm super smooth.

Two things stand out to me on this trip that I remember on my own:
1. Gus was a tailgater. I really wish I would have had the bumper sticker "Stay off my tail (although the bumper sticker is not that nice) unless you're a hemorrhoid." Seriously, horse, there is such a thing as personal space.

2. Bart tried to murder me. My first warning might have been when they put a muzzle on him before we even started the trip. I'm the only one with a muzzled horse, something is wrong. Apparently he was an eater and I was supposed to show him who was boss. Hello, have you met me?! I've never ridden a horse alone for the most part and we are going on clifflike structures...I'm pretty sure I was tense the whole time. Especially the time we tried to crush my leg between his belly and a tree and most especially when he decided to take his own path...I tried to direct him back to the straight and narrow, but he was having none of that. That was my cue to panic. I think I hid it well while I was saying bad words in my head. Forgive me.

I also learned on this day that after you ride a horse for a couple hours you really do walk bow legged. It's weird and kinda embarrassing.

That night we went back to our itty-bitty cabin and played some dominoes cuz we're cool like that. Doug made an amazing domino structure cuz he has a genius engineer brain and played with Legos as a child. Jessica and I watched in amazement:

Impressive, eh? Well, just wait til' you see what I built! I totally showed him up.

I played with Legos as a child too.

Then we went to bed.

Tune in for the next installment (hopefully in less than 6 months): "Day 7 - Apparently We Hiked This Day and Saw Some Animals, But I'm Gonna Have to Try and Remember Because I've Slept Since Then"

Sounds intriguing, huh?

Fubger Skucung 101 - Translated: Finger Slicing 101

2009-11-19T17:41:00.000-08:00

So, I sliced my finger on a vegetable peeler this afternoon. It is now bandaged in 3 bandaids going every which way because I sliced it on a very inconvenient part of the finger. This has also made typing correctly next to impossible so it only figures that I am in a blogging mood, thus making it take 10x as long to type because I have to keep going back to correct my mistakes.

Anyway, tonight I broke out the hot chocolate maker:
It's a staple piece of kitchenware in my opinion. I made pumpkin spice hot chocolate and added a little scoop of ice cream for good measure. Delicious! I think it made the husband happy.

In other news. A little update on my goals for the year. I got called in for jury duty. It probably wasn't fair that I put that on the list since I knew I was going in for it at the time of the list making...but it's my list and I can make it how I want. I had to show up for 3 days. Two of those days were basically jury selection days...meaning I had to sit in a chair with limited breaks and listen to lawyers try and get me to say what they wanted me to say...for 2 days. Needless to say, I didn't say what they wanted me to say and didn't get chosen, but I got to go back again the next day and sit and wait and watch TV. Thrilling? Yes, it was.

Let's see, I also started the Twilight series. I finished the first book in about 4 days and need to go pick up the 2nd from the library. Did you know you have to pay a quarter to have a book held for you? If you don't pick it up you have to pay a dollar! I picked up The Time Traveler's Wife and paid a quarter on Monday and asked about New Moon. I had to be put on hold for that one too, but was 4th on the waiting list to get it. Not an hour later I got a call saying it was waiting for me. Now, I've gotta get it before Monday to avoid the $1 penalty, but finish my other one because it's only a 14 day book...I'm gonna have to do some serious reading to get both of these books done before their due dates.

Um, I haven't eaten any snails yet...I did have some chicken the other day though. Also haven't visited any other countries. I did travel to Branson which is close to Arkansas which is another country though.

Now I will type my last paragraph with out correcting any of my injured finger mistakes.

We start our Thanksgivmg wekk timiriiw by eatugn iur furst if fiur Taanjsguvng neaks, I',, oretty excuted abiut nit akk the wauth u;n ginna gaub, si much fir my goal of losting ten pounds...at least nowt yet. NMaye after Christas,

Yep, that's how I type...it's taken me like 45 minutes to type this up. I'm done.

I'll leave you with these words of advice:
If your kitchen utensil drawer needs organized just skip it. Disorganization isn't worth losing a finger over.

I Got Goals...

2009-10-06T19:44:00.000-07:00

On the eve of turning XXVII (in Super Bowl terms) I have decided to commemorate Angela Fest 2009 with 10 goals to accomplish this year. Here they are in no particular order...except for the first one. Some are guaranteed to happen, others will take some effort.

• More quiet times with Jesus. (I always make this goal…and most always fail. Grrr.)
• Get called in for jury duty.
• Move to another country.
• Visit at least 2 other countries.
• Lose the 10 lbs I’ve gained since the wedding. This couldn’t possibly because it seems I’ve taken up baking and cooking like a competitive sport.
• Actually, truly enjoy a cup of hot tea.
• Eat a snail.
• Read the Twilight series…just cuz I want to be cool like everyone else.
• Buy a bike.
• Keep a plant alive…for the first time in my life.

There ya have it! They aren't too high and mighty...except for maybe that keeping a plant alive issue...this is my year in that department, I can feel it. It's a different feeling than I've had for the past 7. I'll keep you up to date.

"The Top Insert Number I Don't Know Yet Quotes From a Very Loud, Rambunctious Concert Full of Crazy Youth Groups

2009-09-19T12:25:00.000-07:00

*We now interrupt your regular broadcast for this news announcement!*

Okay, okay so I've really slacked off the last month and haven't even finished our vacation (I really am close to being done though!). I promise I will finish!! But today I have something else that needs to be shared.

Last night I had the pleasure of attending a concert...I haven't been to a concert in quite some time! It featured, FM Static, Thousand Foot Krutch (TFK), This Beautiful Republic, B. Reith, Audio Unplugged, and Jars of Clay.

The following is "The Top *Insert Number I Don't Know Yet* Quotes From a Very Loud, Rambunctious Concert Full of Crazy Youth Groups While We Sat in the Back and Lost All of the Little Hairs Inside our Ears that Promote Listening"...in no particular order.

1. "Is that a partial mullet?" - in response to This Beautiful Republic's lead singer

2. "My forehead is vibrating!" - um, it was loud...nuff said.

3. "That was from back in 1995!" - after Audio Unplugged sang Big House --- we then realized, "Oh dear. Most of the people in this room think that's a REALLY long time ago because they were either not born or about 2 years old."

4. "Is that necessary?" - in response to insane headbanging done by This Beautiful Republic

5. "They could totally throw cuss words in there and we'd never know!" - um, this could apply to a lot of the night.

6. "My jeans are vibrating!" - it was still loud.

7. "Why doesn't that infant have earplugs?!"

8. "We've got 1 more song for you tonight!" - TFK --- "Oh so that's a song?!" --- us.

9. While everyone else is yelling "One more song, one more song!!" we are saying "NO MORE SONGS! NO MORE SONGS!"

10. "If I headbanged like that and played the drums I'd smack myself in the face with a drumstick!" - in response to This Beautiful Republic's drummer with the long flowing blonde hair who appeared to be seizing.

11. "I need a translator." - again, this can be applied to a lot of the night.

12. "Crowd surfing is all fun and games until someone gets dropped by a 13-year-old." - due to the crazy people crowd surfing at the altar.

13. "Why doesn't that child have earplugs?!"

14. "We're old."

15. "My hair is vibrating!" - yup, still loud.

16. "Why did they put Jars of Clay last? All of their fans are the ones that have to get up at 6 a.m. for work."

And there you have 16 quotes. I think that most of these are things I, at one point in my life, said, "I'll never say anything like that!"

Day 5 - "Don't Worry It's a Flat Hike."

2009-08-18T18:46:00.000-07:00

Remember that picture from the last post of the sunset? Well, if you look at the pictures you can see some clouds pouring over the mountains. It was really quite beautiful. Little did we know that that night was the last time we would actually get to see those mountains because the next morning we were socked in with clouds. No worries though, up there even when it's cloudy it's still pretty...just a mysterious cloudy. Since the sun wasn't out it was also quite chilly which was perfect! It was about 55 or something like that when we left the hotel to move onto bigger and better places....or so we thought.

Our next place to sleep was to be in St. Mary's. We had made reservations for 2 nights in a Pinnacle Cottage which according to the pictures was absolutely beautiful. They have fireplaces, kitchens, 2 bedrooms, a living room and a bathroom with a tub/shower (which is way different from the 2 ft x 2 ft showers we've been having...which btw are very hard to maneuver around to shave the legs...you hit your head on walls and if you drop anything good luck. So, thankfully as they say, "When in the mountains do as the mountain-women...if you get my drift...). Anyway, the week before the trip I had looked up these places we were staying and happened upon a review site that gave this place about an 79% disapproval rating...yes, my friends that is right, basically in mathematical terms that means that 79 out of 100 people rated this establishment as terrible. In fact some of the ways that this place was described was, "Your Worst Nightmare Come True", "I Felt Like I was in Friday the 13th", "Stay AWAY!", and my personal favorite "Horrific Experience...Bed Sheets/Mattress Saturated With Urine"...no kidding! That's a true story! In fact allegedly that happened while we were there. Haha! Anyway, needless to say we were a little wary of what we were walking into.

Thank you St. Mary's Lodge and "Resort" for not failing us too! I'm sure when Daniel went in to check us in they said something like this:

"Haha we got you! Welcome to St. Mary's Lodge and Anti-Resort we lost your reservations! So sue us! You are going to have to live under a tree somewhere along the lake down below and fend off the wild bears that are coming out to eat the huckleberries! I can also sense there are two not-so-rustic women in your vehicle...yep, good luck that buckaroo!"

Shocking isn't it?! They informed us they sold those cabins to KOA campgrounds so we would have to go there to straighten it all out. We went and they were very kind (at least I got that impression from Daniel). They told us ever since they bought that property from St. Mary's they have had problems with the St. Mary's people. Apparently even though St. Mary's sold the properties to KOA St. Mary's was still making reservations in them! Wow! Thankfully, much to Jessica's and my relief they had one of the cottages open for the night so we were guaranteed one night in them, but we would have to check out the next morning and then St. Mary's was supposed to find us a place to stay the following night. Jessica and I assumed it would probably be in one of their infamous teepees that would blow down on us in the middle of the night or something lovely like that.

We enjoyed our accomodations for the night though which made it very hard to say goodbye to in the morning:

Pretty nice, eh? It really was great.

That day we took a hike...shocked? This time we headed up to Logan Pass. Jessica and I were told by the boys, "Don't worry it's a flat hike." So, we were excited! Awesome a flat hike where we don't have to climb rocks or sheer cliffs. I'm not quite sure what dictionary was used when using the term "flat" because it wasn't flat. In fact we climbed stairs. Not little bitty stairs...like taller steps. I have short legs...short legs and tall steps do not mix. Now, it was really foggy up there (and about 45-50 so we were in our warm jackety coatlike attire) so you couldn't see all the way. Jessica and I would get oh so excited when we'd reach the "top" of the stairs only then the fog would kind of clear and show us our next set...and our hearts would be crushed.

This picture is not mine...hence the clear sky...these are some of the stairs. They are not steep, but they go on and on and on and on and on...

I had no idea it actually looked like this. Wow.

We did get to see some wildlife though! Starting with a hoary marmot. They are these large rodents. If I would have seen these sooner they might have been one of the animals that crossed my mind at 2 a.m. the other morning.Kinda makes you wanna curl up with a 30 lb rat doesn't it?

We also got to see mountain goats up close and personal.

He looks snuggly too.

When we got to the Hidden Lake Overlook this is what we saw.

Now, close your eyes and imagine this is what we saw...well, don't close your eyes...look at this and imagine this is what we saw:

Through all of that fog this is what it looks like. Nice, huh?! We had to use our imaginations because we had no idea that it looked like this when we were up there. I figured there would be a lake down there though since it was the Hidden Lake Overlook. I'm smart like that.

That night dinner was AWESOME!! We were introduced to the new love of our lives. It's a little place called Johnson's. Holy cow! We had the special which was grilled ham and cheese sandwiches and vegetable beef stew. It was quite possibly one of the best meals ever! Finding this little gem (thanks to Doug's boss for the recommendation) was one of the best things on this trip. If I could marry it, I would. I want to go back to Montana just for Johnson's. Blessed Johnson's.

Tune in next time to find out if we had to live with the micro-bears in the mountains the next night and for: Day 6 - To Ride Horses with the Drunk Indians or Not to Ride Horses with the Drunk Indians? That is the Question.

Day 4 (Part 2) - How Old Am I?

2009-08-14T20:59:00.000-07:00

After a 10 mile hike and then a pretty sleepless night due to the mouse gang in our room, my body was rejecting me. My legs were screaming out, my feet were cursing and my knees definitely weren't acting like Christians. I don't know what it feels like to be 85, but I'm pretty sure that was as close as I'm gonna get for about 59 more years. I felt like I was waddling everywhere. The knees were not bending so well...so, we wanted to take it easy.

Daniel went out at one of those non-existent hours in the morning and rehiked the 10 miles we did the previous day to get the perfect shot...he is a crazy man. There are bears out there...micro and regular. There are moose (I prefer to call plural moose, moosen) out there. There are rabid ground squirrels out there too I'm sure.

He got back at around 10 a.m. as the other 3 of us were finishing up breakfast. We decided the waitress would be the perfect person to ask about easy hikes or fun things to do in the area. Little did we know she was one of the people we saw the previous day on our hike "skiing" on her boots down the side of a mountain on rocks. We were a little wary of her suggestions...here they were...

1. Do a 3-4 mile hike to Red Rock Falls and soak in the pools of water. Feels good a warm day.
2. Ski down a mountain on your boots...but watch out for the rams.
3. Jump off of waterfalls on the hotel grounds...they are only 60 feet high.

I don't know about you, but #'s 2 and 3 sound fantastic. (Just a bit of sarcasm there people.)

We decided to do a 3-4 mile hike to Red Rock Falls. A nice, easy hike for non-Christian knees.

It wasn't too horrible and I told my knees to take it like a man. They can be a couple of sissies sometimes. There's no crying in hiking!! (There is when there are wild animals in your room though...I "forgot" to include that yesterday...I kinda woke Doug up the 2nd time when I was bawling my eyes out because of the mouse gang - there had to be at least 16.2 mice in there I'm sure - I wasn't scared of them I was very, very angry at them...sorry, back to today's blog) Again, the hike was worth it:

We didn't wear our suits, but decided to stick our feet in the pools that this crazy waitress told us to swim in...
Can't you tell how we were ready to jump right in and take a little dip. No way! I don't know who this waitress was, but there was no way we were immersing ourselves in that water. It was beautiful, but so stinking cold. I have no idea how Doug kept his legs in it for so long. I think he said at one point they were kinda numb. It did feel good on the feet after a while, but definitely not for swimming in!

The boys decided to be ~~crazy~~ brave and walk out to the edge and look over the top of one of the falls, but us girls stayed sitting on a tall rock, overlooking the area. We looked straight ahead instead of watching our husbands risk their lives for the sake of photography. This is what we watched.
Safe and pretty just the way we like it. Not like this:Thankfully this wasn't the last picture of these two.

We eventually hiked back and on our way back to the hotel as we were driving we saw one of these:
Except we didn't get this view...praise the Lord. He was on this hill as we drove past it.

Here was our sunset that night...Amazing...

Overall, a good day. No limbs (or toes) were lost. No one fell off of a waterfall. No one got car sick. Plus we had a sure place to sleep...which is what we did that night, mouse gang or not.

But would we have the same luck tomorrow?

Find out in the next installment Day 5 - "Don't Worry It's a Flat Hike."

Day 4 (Part 1) - There's a Moose Under Our Bed!

2009-08-13T18:41:00.000-07:00

You know, after a super long hike all you want to do is sleep. So, that's what we planned on doing. Sleeping. Which we did. We were dead to the world until 2 a.m. That's when I awoke very suddenly to the sound of a plastic Wal-Mart-like bag rustling violently.

At first I thought, "Oh man, the air conditioner/heater came on and is blowing on one of the bags. I'm going back to sleep." But then I immediately realized, "Wait just one second, there is no air conditioner in her and this room is 100 years old and there's a little heater high on the wall that's nowhere near any plastic bags in our room! HOLY CRAP (pardon my French...I was very alarmed) THERE IS SOMETHING ALIVE BESIDES US IN OUR ROOM!!!" I sat straight up in bed. This would be the point that Doug stirs just a little bit and starts to realize I am no longer lying next to him but sitting next to him and getting a little agitated.

He says, "What are you doing?"

I respond, "There's something making a noise in the plastic bag."

He groggily replies, "It'll be fine. Go back to sleep."

So, me, being the brave girl that I am layed warily back down in bed with full intentions of ~~lying there freaking out inside~~ sleeping. Until...

I heard slow footsteps walking around my side of the bed. That was it...I was done! There was no silent freaking out happening with something walking along my side of the bed. I sat straight up again and started violently shaking Doug this time! "Doug wake up!!!! There is something alive in our room!!!"

"It'll be fine. Go back to sleep!"

I kinda sit there for a second and imagine every animal imaginable at now 2:15 a.m. My thoughts ranged from a mouse, to a wild cat, to a ground squirrel, to even the micro-bear Doug was telling us about earlier (I told you it was early in the morning...imaginations are horrible things sometimes). This caused me to panic more and I began to think I was going to hyperventilate.

"I can't! It's walking around by my side of the bed. You have to get up and find it!!"

"Fine."

He turns the light on and gets his flashlight out. He takes a look under the bed a couple of times and declares it holy ground (although, I'm was not walking barefoot down there in case something decided to grab my toes).

He tells me all will be fine and to try and sleep. At this point I am literally shaking and he has to remind me to breathe. I can still hear those stupid footsteps. Everytime I did I tensed up which also bothered Doug.

I knew that it was probably a mouse, but I read Fox News far too much and lately there has been a crazy trend of babies getting eaten by mice until they die or lose fingers, toes, and parts of noses. Everytime I closed my eyes I imagined getting overtaken by mice and having my toes gnawed off. It wasn't a pretty sight. It was just easier to keep my eyes open. Needless to say, not a lot of sleep was had after that.

Doug got up a couple hours later to take sunrise pics. He totally left me in that room to fend for myself against the mouse gang. Good thing I'm scary cuz they stayed away.

Later when we were ready for breakfast and heading downstairs Doug announced we were getting a mouse trap so he wouldn't have to deal with me flipping out in the middle of the night again. Now, the people that work there are from all over the world. The man we chose to talk to was from France, and this how the conversation went:

Doug: We have a mouse in our room.
Frenchman: (pointing to gift shop) Gift shop.
Me: (thinking) What the heck?!
Doug: No, we have a mouse in our room.
Frenchmen: A moose?
Me: (thinking) Yes, sir, a moose crawled through the window in the middle of the night and won't leave.
Doug: No, a mouse...we need a trap.
Frenchman: (confusion written all over this poor kid's face) Trap a moose?
Doug: Do you know what a mouse is? (using hands to show size and how they skitter around a room) A rodent. Small. Has diseases.
Frenchman: No, I don't know mOUse.

I then see someone grab a net on the end of long stick and then know that this is going nowhere fast. This gentleman is American and knows about such things as mice. He tells us they can't kill them (they can't even kill bugs) because they are protected animals.

You have got to be kidding me. This protected animal tried to eat my toes the night before and it's okay. Two gentlemen take their little butterfly net and skip off to our room.

There was no hope. We had a roommate and he was not leaving anytime soon. I named him Scooter.

Tune in tomorrow for Day 4 (Part 2) - How Old Am I?

Day 3 - Please Someone Kill Me Now!

2009-08-12T18:59:00.000-07:00

Now that all of our air travel was done for several days we were quite excited! Now, the real vacation could begin.

Doug and Daniel started out their day way before Jessica and I did. They left around 5 a.m. or some horrible hour like that that should not be recognized while on vacation, but they like it. On a regular non-vacation day, no way, but on vacation, bring it on! Jessica and I took it upon ourselves to sleep for them, which we did quite well.

After a breakfast of french toast (I had vanilla hazelnut, Doug had huckleberry...more on a later date) which reminded me vaguely of funnel cakes we headed to our next location. Off to Many Glacier which looks like this:

Our hotel was very close to the Iceberg Lake trailhead (don't I sound like I know what I'm talking about when I use terms like trailhead?! Just wait til' I whip out switchbacks...gives you chills doesn't it?!) which was our hike of choice for the day. It's 10 miles roundtrip. This doesn't sound so bad when you think of it in terms of driving. I was gasping for breath on the way there on several occasions, but that 's because I'm from KS and we don't have elevation thus we have oxygen here. Sad to say we didn't really see much wildlife except for a mountain goat. There was the instance of a "micro-bear" which Doug told us was more vicous than a regular bear and very small...I think he was making it up...I have my suspicions. I was pretty pooped and so were my feet by the time we reached Iceberg Lake, but it was worth the view:

An apparent tradition that I was not informed of proceeded. Jessica and I were instructed to remove our shoes and step into the water...the water with big ice cubes floating in it. I noticed something right away...the boys didn't do this, they just took pictures and laughed at us girls writhing in pain from the freezing temperature. I think next time they will be required to do that and then we will take pictures and laugh at them! Sounds fair to me!

Well, when it was time to start the 5 mile hike back my feet were not happy that they were being forced back into boots. The rest of the hike taught me a lot about prayer. I talked a lot to God on the way back. I'm sure he was teaching me a lesson and I'm still trying to figure it out. This was my time with God:

"DEAR JESUS, MAKE THE PAIN STOP! I WANT TO SEE YOU! I'M READY TO COME TO HEAVEN RIGHT NOW AND SOAK MY ACHING FEET IN A NICE GOLD BOWL OF WARM WATER AND MAYBE EVEN SIT IN A HOT TUB OF HOLY WATER!"

I was losing my mind. The only thing that got me back was the promise of pasta. I got my pasta too. I could have been the worst pasta in the world and I would have been happy because it would have been food in front of me while I was sitting.

We returned to our hotel where we fell into bed for a long night's sleep...or so we thought...

Tune in tomorrow for Day 4 - There's a Moose Under Our Bed!

Day 2 - Luggage? We Don't Need No Stinkin' Luggage!

2009-08-11T14:15:00.000-07:00

After our glorious day of travel the day before we happily awoke refreshed after about 5 hours of sleep. If you know my husband, 5 hours of sleep is about 3-4 hours short of acceptable sleep length. So, maybe we didn't wake up so refreshed, but we woke up nonetheless. We made our way to the airport in hopes of not getting stuck. Thankfully we weren't flying United so our chances of getting anywhere on time skyrocketed!

Remember my fear of going through security because of sniffing dogs? Well, my fears have now multiplied by 1,000. Yes, it's true. They have these new machines there. Big, tall machines you stand inside and they have an arm like thing that whirs around you. I did not know what this new machine was, but I did notice the sign that said something like this,

"You are about to enter this scary looking machine. You can either A. stand inside it and let it whir around you painlessly or B. get frisked by that really disturbing looking security guard on the other side. Choose wisely."

Well, shoot, I totally chose the scary machine thing. What harm can a scary looking machine do?! None, that's what! It didn't hurt at all. Sad to say, Doug had to go through the machine AND get frisked. He is a pretty shady looking character.

After we went through it, Doug says, "Those machines have been really controversial." He then tells me they are body scanning machines. So, after getting our Cinnabon (priorities) I took it upon myself to research these alleged body scanners. I shouldn't have. My life would be much better not knowing what they are. Apparently these body scanners truly scan your body. Like they see through your clothes. At this point I felt very violated and kinda wished I had just been frisked. They should have had a sign that said this instead,

"You are about to enter this scary looking machine. You can either A. stand inside of this machine as we look through (yes, we said through) your clothes to see if you are carrying anything dangerous like a fingernail file in your armpit or elsewhere (yes, we will see it if you try) or B. get frisked by that disturbing looking security guard who really is a gentle giant on the other side. CHOOSE THE FRISKING!"

I digress.

Onto the airplane ride. It was good. It was on time. It was Delta. God bless you, Delta.

We arrived in Montana and were greeted by Jessica. She's from Florida, you'll hear a lot about her over the next few days. She's one of Doug's friends from college and belongs to Daniel who was currently waiting in the car on the curb expecting to be there for 10 minutes. Jessica, Doug and I stood around and waited for our bags to ride around and come to us. They didn't come....even though we were assured they were on the flight. Hmmm...so, we wait in line behind a whole lot of other people who are now in the middle of Montana with nothing to wear. To make an already long story short, the nice lady didn't have a clue where our luggage was. Yep, no record of it. Even better since we were informed a very short time later in the car by Daniel and Jessica that the only clothes they'd seen for sale were authentic Indian clothing. That sounded REALLY promising. The lady then told us that they would wait until the next flight came in that night from Denver and if our luggage happened to be on that one they would drive it up to us.

So, we all hop in the car and head up to the hotel through the windy roads. This is the point in my life where I discovered I really can get car sick. We don't have curvy roads roads in mountains here in KS so I was never given the opportunity to experience the feeling of carsickness. Oh, and I had a migraine on top of that. That helped a ton. The only problem was I was the new girl and considered myself to be tough. Carsickness is for wimps. That's what I thought until my stomach started to turn more and I thought I was going to lose consciousness. That's when I turned to Doug and told him I didn't feel well. Thankfully we pulled into town for lunch. I thought that might help. Nope, it doesn't, just so you all know. I ordered lunch but if I even touched the food to my tongue it didn't want to go down. But I gave it a good effort. We then went and bought 2 of my best friends on the trip, Mr. Excedrin and Miss Dramamine. I love them so.

Back to the hotel we went to take drugs and nap. It worked! Life was good again, so we went on a 4 mile hike. Pretty sure I was gonna die. There is no oxygen there, but we made it to the top and saw this.
It was lovely. Then I felt like a weenie because a couple kids came bounding up the mountain and I felt like falling over dying. Then the kids's dad comes up the mountain in pristine condition carrying an infant. I felt even worse and wanted to crawl into a bed and sleep.

So, we went back to our hotel (after seeing a black bear on our way down the mountain) that looked like this on the outside:
and this on the inside:and we went to sleep. We were there and all was well.

Tune in tomorrow for Day 3 - Please, Someone Kill Me Now!

Day 1 - The Cursed Travelers

2009-08-10T08:43:00.000-07:00

You know, I used to look at airports and get all excited and jittery thinking about the prospect of climbing onto an airplane that would take me off to new adventures. The only thing I ever dreaded was going through security, but even that didn't scare me to much until they bring in the dogs. It's never good when they bring in the sniffing dogs.

Now, I walk into the airport and brace myself for the inevitable news that something has gone wrong with at least one flight we are supposed to ride on. Our most recent trip did not let me down either.

It all started when we went to check in at those handy-dandy self-check in kiosks (man, I love that word! I could say it over and over again. Kiosk, kiosk, kiosk...fun!) Much to our dismay we get a message similar to this,

"I'm sorry you are flying United. Your flight is running 55 minutes late so we're gonna try to make the rest of your airport experience for the day as stressful as possible. Oh, you want to go to Montana do you?! Muwahahaha. That's very funny! We laugh in your face! You most likely aren't gonna make your next connection. That's too bad for you. Go on up to the line ahead and wait and a person can help you fly there within the next week so you only get 2 days of vacation instead of 7."

It went something like that, as I recall.

We went up to the desk and the kind lady (she really was...she might have been new.) confirmed what the kind kiosk told us. She informed us we could try again tomorrow, but there were no guarantees. My husband, my knight in shining armor, who doesn't take, "come back tomorrow" as an answer informs the kind lady that we will take the risk of missing our flight in Denver and our luggage most definitely not making it on our flight and arriving on the next. So, we check in and even make it through security without dogs sniffing us.

At this point we decide no more United for us. The rest of the day solidifies this wise choice of ours.

We sit and wait in the Wichita airport...in case you have never been blessed to fly out of the Wichita airport, there is NOTHING to do in this airport. Sitting is your only option. This wouldn't have been quite so bad if it would have happened in say, Dallas, Chicago, or at least an airport with moving sidewalks or escalators where we could ride them for hours on end. We are then informed why we are late. Apparently the plane we are supposed to be on got delayed an hour and twenty minutes out of Houston because of mechanical problems. I hate when they say that. It doesn't phase Doug because his plane always has mechanical problems. I like my planes to work when they are in the sky. They then tell us it will be delayed another 15 minutes because it hadn't even left Denver yet. When it finally gets here we are told we can't board for another 20 minutes because Denver has bad weather and they have grounded all flights going in and leaving.

This is another point when having a husband who is a pilot comes in handy. He pulls out his phone and looks up some aviation weather site where everything is in a secret code. Come to find out there is nothing wrong around Denver. This is also confirmed by other passengers who call friends in Denver who say, "The weather is fine! Crazy United people!"

We finally board and leave about 2 hours after we were supposed to. Surprisingly we land in Denver and miss our connecting flight by 30 minutes. After not finding anyone to help us we are directed to gate B39. It's name now lives in infamy. According to the really old lady in front of us in line she counted everyone in front of her. There were 99 people and the line was approximately 2.7 miles long. That might be exaggerating, but not by much. :-) We wait for 30 minutes and hardly move. So Doug and this man behind us get the bright idea that there has to be another customer service desk somewhere else. Sure enough! They walk a very long distance and find a line with 5 people in it. Me and the other wife stay in line just in case. We waited an hour before it was okay to step out. We also found out that this other man makes ice cream in Montana, Wilcoxsons, BONUS! It was good by the way.

I promise this day is almost over. I'm telling you it was long!

Doug used his magic negotiating skills and got us a flight out of Denver that night to Salt Lake City. We were to land at around midnight. We got no free hotel room out of the deal because we were told they coded the delay as a weather delay. Fabulous. We did get to eat some food before leaving Denver and then our flight was delayed 30 minutes out of Denver. Way to go, United! We love you!

We made it to Salt Lake City, surprisingly and got to stay here (although we didn't know this is what it looked like on the outside cuz it was really dark):

Thankfully, this place had a bed and we were able to sleep in preparation for the next exciting leg of the trip the next day...

Tune in tomorrow for: Day 2: Luggage, We Don't Need No Stinkin' Luggage!

In Preparation

2009-07-29T18:44:00.000-07:00

So, we are leaving for vacation on Friday. We are getting out of Kansas and heading north where there are mountains. "Mountains? What are mountains?" you may be asking. They are these very tall pieces of land that are very pretty and we can't claim any here in the grand state of Kansas. Apparently you are supposed to hike in these things called mountains. Now, hiking to me is like, "Hey, I'm gonna hike down to the corner to Walgreens, I'll be back in 10 minutes." Anyone from Kansas understands where I'm com
ing from with this. We don't have places to hike besides little trails around our man-made lakes. This is the extent of my hiking experience:
A large group traipsing through the "woods". From what I hear you don't jump off the rocks where we're going...it's a lot longer way down to the bottom.

So, in preparation for our trip I've been training. I started running for a few weeks, but this week I've discovered that I love spinning. I like being able to work out with a group. I think I get a lot more out of it and "have" to do. I can't wimp out 5 minutes into the hour long workout...I mean, I would never wimp out 5 minutes into a workout...ever...

Doug and I have also been taking 2 mile walks with our hiking boots on Saturday mornings and then he makes me do the stairs...curse the stairs...I hate them. Usually I do them with a very bad 2-year-old attitude. It makes it more fun that way. Okay, maybe not a 2-year-old attitude...it's probably like a 5-year-old. Much better.

So far I like hiking. A 45 minute walk in the park...no hills, no switchbacks (whatever that is!), no elevation (I'm not kidding...none really), and no bears. It's been good. I'll let ya know how I really feel next week.

Parking Garages

2009-06-25T20:59:00.000-07:00

Apparently, I have developed a slight fear of parking garages. I have no idea where this came from. I don't ever recall being afraid of parking garages before. I have to park in a parking garage when I volunteer at the hospital and every time I drive into the stinkin' thing my chest gets all tight and I'm pretty sure I start minorly hyperventilating. I think terrible things about how there are hundreds of cars above my head...are cars intended to be "suspended" in the "air". I've been parking the basement lately, and it's super scary down there. Just think about all of the stories of cars sitting precariously over my head. It makes my heart flutter. I tell myself, "Simmer down, this parking garage has been here for many, many years! It hasn't collapsed yet!" One would think this might possibly calm my spazzed out nerves, but no it makes it worse! I look around at the 70's style painting and then start looking for cracks that will surely bring the thing down. That's my cue to walk as quickly as I can to the safe building where I can't hear cars driving over my head.

Not only do have this fear of the thing caving, but what about all of the crazy people that sit in parking garages just waiting to get you. Have you seen the movies?! Anytime there is a parking garage nothing good comes of it. So, on top of retreating as quickly as I can to the safety of the building I'm also checking my back. I'm sure if a doctor is ever in the same parking garage as I am he may admit me to the psyh ward.

I blame it on watching too much 24.

Sorry, Friends!

2009-06-22T11:18:00.000-07:00

I have really stunk this up lately.

I think I got done teaching and didn't want to do anything that had to do with literacy...except for reading and talking...seriously, I've been reading like the government was gonna burn all of the books in the country. I'm about ready for my next stop at the library.

On the "plant front" I have killed too many things. After we got back from Dallas my dear, dear aloe plant had been overtaken by mushrooms. My dear husband then made the decision to banish it from the house...something about fungus growing in our apartment seriously freaked the man out! :-) May it rest in peace. Our strawberries taste like a mixture of dirt and manure...pretty sure I won't be placing any of those things in my mouth again, but they sure are pretty! The rest of the veggies look green, but aren't exactly producing anything! Oh well...my goal wasn't to kill them, so I guess I'm successful so far!!

I started volunteering in the Ronald McDonald Family Room in between the PICU and pediatric units this week. I had training today and I'm SUPER excited! I'm very excited about getting to help people who are going through a really hard time to make them a little bit happier. I just hope I can resist the freezer full of cinnamon rolls and watching Sister Act of the VCR while I'm on duty!

Okay, I need to go clean so it looks like I actually did something while Doug was at work...drat.

Still Alive...and Growing!

2009-05-14T18:46:00.000-07:00

It's a miracle! I haven't killed off my plants yet! Everyday I peek out onto our balcony expecting to see withered up plants that are ready to blow away in the wind, but instead I see this:

and this:

I am so proud!! They are like my little babies! Do you see that little red strawberry?! It's amazing, eh?! We're eating it tomorrow. We're gonna cut it in half and share it. I sure hope it's good. So, if the plant is like my baby would the fruit of the plant be my grandbaby...or perhaps a grandberry? Hmmmm...okay, okay, I'll stop.

As if my home is full of growing little babies I added another today. This is an aloe vera plant and someone brought it some cuts of it to school today so I decided to brave it. Someone said they are really hard to kill. I'll see if I can prove them wrong! Not so sure how well this one is gonna work out, but I really like the pot I found for it today! So, it may die, but at least it looks good in the process.

So, I would like to welcome the new member to our family...live long and prosper...or at least live for a few days.

Politically Incorrect?

2009-05-12T19:42:00.000-07:00

Okay, so serious blogs are not going to become my thing. In fact, I have a plethora of blog ideas bopping around in my very full brain right now, but I don't have time to write just yet. Patience I tell you. I have one that I would like to make time to write tonight...be grateful because I'm putting off reading The Diary of Anne Frank (yes, I know that's supposed to be underlined I just can't figure it out right now) to type this out. It could be somewhat political, it could be somewhat controversial, it could be somewhat not politically correct...I don't know because I haven't quite processed it all so it may just come out a jumbled mess and I apologize now for it. Just leave me a comment that says, "Great work! Made perfect sense! Keep your day job!".

I read Fox News approximately 27 times a day. I like it. I'm a nerd. I like that too. I typically don't read it for pertinent information (although that's nice on occasion), I like to read it for the very weird and bizarre stories under the pertinent story section. I like to read it for stories like, "Pregnant Woman Gets Hit by Car While Fleeing Bear" (true story, check it out...no worries, the lady and the baby are fine...the bear isn't...but have no fear the lady is gonna give the kid the middle name "Bear" in its honor whether a boy or girl). Now these stories are wonderful and great in every way, but a pertinent story has been catching my eye lately...it may not really be a pertinent story, but it gets to be up in the pertinent section so it counts.

The story has been about Miss California, Carrie Prejean, in the Miss USA pageant. She was asked by Perez Hilton, a very openly gay man, what her stance was on gay marriage. She responded with, "I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anyone out there, but that's how I was raised." She, later in the evening, would come in 1st runner up, quite possibly due to her answer to that question. In response to this answer she has been attacked all over the place for answering that way. Perez Hilton has called her many unmentionable names and many other people too. People are ticked and saying she had no right to say that! What in the world?! We live in America right?! Just checking. Our constitution is still in tact right?! Just checking. Isn't there some amendment about freedom of speech?! Sometimes I do not understand this country. I love it and I am proud to livein it. I don't want to take our freedoms for granted.

You know what? I agree with her and I have absolutely no shame in saying that. In the Bible it is clear about same sex relations. I will always stand on that. Do I have friends that are gay? Yes, as a matter of fact I do. Do I agree with their lifestyle? No, I do not. Nor will I ever. Will I continue to be their friend? Yes.

How come it's okay for people in favor of gay marriage to say such things about people who aren't in favor of it? Yet, when someone simply comes out says they disagree with it...in a non-confrontational way...the world is up in arms!

I, by no means, would ever say anything like that about people who are in favor of it...I do not agree with Fred Phelps or anyone involved with him either.

I just don't understand the world we live in...I don't understand double standards. It makes no sense to me.

On a side note, I do NOT agree withe pictures she had taken of her from a few years back...just so you know.

Let's see what kind of hits I get with this post...

Weight Loss

2009-05-04T19:38:00.000-07:00

Woo-hoo! I lost 3 pounds last week!

I'm sure it has absolutely nothing to do with that macaroni and cheese and Spam experiment.

Speaking of Spam, I did some research...

A serving size is 2 oz
In those 2 oz is 170 calories
1 can of Spam holds 12 servings (this stuff could feed a large family!)
It's made of pork shoulder meat w/ some ham added, water, sugar, salt (and a lot of it...750 mg/serving mind you), and something called sodium nitrite (I thought my chemistry teacher mixed that with something and then it exploded in high school...should I be eating it?!)
Spam became popular during WWII when there was a meat ration
In the US 3.8 cans of Spam are consumed every second! Seriously! If you just did the math in your head (which I'm sure you all did!) that would be 7,752 calories of Spam are consumed every second.
People that live in Hawaii average 4 cans of Spam each year for each person...they are the Spam capital of the world, you know.
Spam is sold in special gift boxes in Korea.
Spam stolen from army PX's in Korea are sold on the Black Market.
Nikita Kruschev was quoted as saying, "Without Spam, we wouldn't have been able to feed our army" in WWII about the Russian army.
There are 13 types of Spam: Spam Classic, Spam Classic 7 oz., Spam Low Sodium, Spam Garlic, Spam Lite, Spam Golden Honey, Spam Hot and Spicy, Spam Spread, Spam Singles, Spam Hickory Smoke, Spam with Bacon, Spam with Cheese, and Spam Oven Roasted Turkey
The Spam mascot used to be Spammy the Pig
The world record for eating Spam is held by Richard LeFevre. He devoured six pounds of it- or, eight- 12 ounce cans- in 12 minutes.

So, Amanda you have learned lots of new things today!! You may pick any of the above facts to share!

Now, I can't say I hated it. I would definitely never eat this stuff by itself, but, all in all, it was too bad all chopped up in mac and cheese. Although, I lost 3 pounds last week I wouldn't recommend it as a good weight loss staple food. I'm just sayin'.

Where I found my amazing amount of Spam knowledge:
http://www.cusd.claremont.edu/~mrosenbl/spamfacts.html
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/470437/little_known_facts_about_spam_.html?cat=22

Pause

2009-05-03T20:10:00.001-07:00

So, I've got 12 days with my kiddos left...14 teaching days (2 of them are kindergarten screening for next year's hoodlems). That's not a lot. Not at all. Although, it seems as if it will never get here. The last few weeks of school creep by! The kids are antsy, teachers are antsy, the ants are antsy. Everyone is just downright antsy. I gave my kids the little talk about Spring Fever. I think they all thought they caught some crazy infectious disease like swine flu. Oh well, I told them I didn't want them to get it (Spring Fever...I don't want them to get swine flu either, don't get me wrong) so they needed to cover their coughs and sneezes so as not to give their neighbor Spring Fever. Okay, okay I didn't really tell them that it could be passed by germs, but we did have a good long talk about it. Nevertheless, they still got it. Oh well, it was worth a shot.

In the midst of finishing up this school year I'm also packing up my classroom. Yeppers, this is it for me for a while. I'm putting my full time teaching career on hold and going to part time/substituting. This is due to Doug and I moving sometime in the next several months...who really knows when! I'll let you know when I find out! In the process of cleaning out files and cabinets and such I can't figure out where all of this stuff came from! Seriously! I've got a ton of stuff...a ton of trees have been killed in the process of my teaching career...sorry, Trees.

So, anyway, I'll keep cleaning and sorting away, but right now I'm going to bed so I can rested up for the crazies tomorrow! 14 days...14 days...14 days...

Slackers!

2009-04-22T18:37:00.000-07:00

So, I was reading up on my Pioneer Woman today and she's having a contest to win a Kitchenaid mixer. Seriously they are the best thing ever. In the process of reading this blog I got down to the comments section. Seriously, the woman had 15,477 comments on that blog alone. Where is the love?!? I want 15,477 comments too. My 5 readers better get with it! That means you guys need to each leave 3,095.4 comments each. You better get busy, looks like you have a long night ahead of you.

I Did It...You Better Look Before They Die

2009-04-21T17:45:00.000-07:00

I did it! I went to Home Depot and purchased living plants and some seeds to make my very own vegetation creation! Are you proud? You should be! I planted them 24 hours ago and guess what?! They are still alive! Pick yourselves up off of the ground, I was in utter shock when I checked them this morning and they still had green leaves. I thought this was a good sign that I should probably water them. So I did.

Now I have never attempted real vegetables or fruit, but I figured that I've failed at everything else so why not fail at this too! I'm all about being well-rounded.

So, here is what I purchased yesterday evening.

Yes, those are alive...your eyes do not fail you. I even touched them before I took this picture and they didn't whither away immediately. Miracles! Speaking of miracles I actually bought real dirt this time. In the past I've always bought the $1.50 top soil (maybe that was my problem all along) because I can tend to be cheap...and seriously, it's dirt! I could get it out of my backyard for free (but I don't think my apartment complex would be too thrilled). So, I decided to splurge and spend $4 on Miracle Gro dirt. There's got to be a good reason why everyone talks about this stuff and even considers putting it in small children's bottles. Don't worry when I have kids I won't do this to them. That would be bad and very irresponsible.

On with the pictures!

This is my strawberry plant. So far so good.
From the left: Zucchini, Green Pepper and the big patch of dirt has green beans
Who knows what crazy mixes we may get if those roots decide to join together. Zeppers? Green Peppini?

Finally to prove to you that I actually did touch these plants here is the proof:

Yes, I had a out of body experience with a pioneer and worked the land with my hands. Just call me Caroline Ingalls. I wouldn't have gotten this dirty except I kinda don't know where my trowel is. I spent a whole 98 cents on it a couple of years ago. Big loss. Hands were WAY more fun!

Alright, kiddies, keep checking to see how fast these suckers die! You might wanna check tomorrow...it could be that soon. Trust me.

I Kill Everything...In the Plant World

2009-04-14T19:57:00.000-07:00

I want to plant pansies. I saw some pansies today while at Dillons (my 2nd stop to get items to make Doug feel better) and thought to myself, "Self, you should get some pansies and plant them!"

I thought back, "Well, self, that sounds splendid except for one small detail...you KILL all things that are alive and in your possession."

It's true. I do. I kill all plants that come even close to being in my permanent (or not so permanent) possession. It's a very sad, sad truth. This has also been the case for animals in my possession. They are okay at mom and dad's (as are plants), but when they come and live in my house they start dropping like flies. Even flies drop in my presence. In college (my last 2 years) I had a fish and a lizard...they died exactly 1 year apart...to the day. In my first 2 years of teaching I had another fish, a rat, and 2 guinea pigs. I'll admit I thought I had killed the fish and then I went to dump him in the toilet at school and he amazingly tried to jump out of the toilet. I felt pretty bad about that. The rat didn't even last a full 7 days in my class (the standing record). He was loved by all. I carried him around while I did a spelling test that week...all the kids did very well. I still think that rat was killed by the janitor. Conspiracy I say. The guinea pigs are my closest success story. I got rid of them before they died...thankfully before they produced 17 more guinea pigs right in front of 7 and 8-year-olds' eyes.

We won't even go into the plant thing. I've killed them all that's all there is to it. Even the stuff that just sits in a jar and grows...killed it. Flowers in little flower pots...killed them. I plant seeds...they don't even peek out of the dirt. They know death is coming so they don't even try. They probably die as soon as I pick up the packet of seeds. I put them in full sun...they croak. I put them in partial sun...they whither away. I even tried that thing called watering...doesn't really work for me. Been there, done that.

Now, the good thing is that it appears that, so far, I have been successful on the human front. I've been on my own for several years...here I am typing away. I have taught children for 4 years...no problems there. I even got myself a husband. He's been with me for 4 months with no ill effects...except that he's had a 102 degree temp for the past couple of days...but that's not the point! He is sleeping in the next room...therefore my ill luck with plants doesn't seem to be wearing off on him! Chalk one up for me.

Now, as for this pansy hankering I have. I suppose I can give it a shot. Maybe I just needed to be married to make it work. We even got a pot for our wedding (at least that's what we think it is...no, really we had to stop and think it about it when we got it...). I think it's a sign. Maybe it's a magic pot that will block out all of my bad flowering growing juice. Maybe it will be the object that will neutralize my black thumb of death.

I'll let you know. Until then, I'll be buying bouquets of pretty flowers that are expected to die...no matter who touches them.

Insomnia

2009-03-18T21:13:00.000-07:00

My husband is an amazing sleeper. I'm serious. All the man has to do is lay down, put a black t-shirt over his eyes and he's gone. I've tried this. I lay down, put a black t-shirt over my eyes (sometimes he even shares his...so sweet, I know) and I feel like the world is caving in around me. There is no sleep for me. So, here I sit on another sleepless night. Those crazy nights where your mind doesn't stop thinking. I think my problem would be that I took a nap after the zoo...at 5:30. I knew it would be a bad idea, but I couldn't resist the urge.

So, as I was lying in bed next to my sound alseep husband (lucky!) I remembered that I forgot to post in remembrance of my experience 356 days ago. So, for your reading enjoyment here is my story that I typed the day it happened:

Now for the next chapter of, "It Could Only Happen to Angela".

So, it’s Spring Break, right? Right. I decided this lovely morning that I wanted to take a nice relaxing bubble bath and read Sense and Sensibility because it’s Spring Break and I’m allowed to do that. So, I shut the bathroom door and settle in for a nice, warm, bubbly bath. I then proceed to settle in to the sudsy glory and start reading chapter 3 when the silence is oh so suddenly broken. I hear a loud knock on the front door. I debate on what to do and decide that they will have to come back later since it probably wouldn’t be wise to answer the door in the condition that I was in. So, I continued to read and the knocking continued to get louder. The thought of, "Oh shoot, if it’s the maintenance guys they’re just gonna come right on in!" So I frantically try to think of the best possible solution to the problem. I decide to turn on the water again so they would realize that the bathroom door is closed and the water is running so obviously someone is in there. The next thing I know, my bathroom door goes flying open and an unknown man walks right in. Everything in me wanted to scream and yet nothing would come out. He quickly says, "Oh I’m sorry" and proceeds to exit. I was horrified, humiliated and downright mad. I continued to finish the bath (not reading anymore by the way as that mood had been completely ruined!) and made it down to the office to complain to my manager about the incident. She felt very bad. So, I also took the opportunity (seeing that this would be the prime time) to mention that my bathroom door lock also has never worked and I’ve asked a few times to have that fixed. What do you know, but the guy from earlier in the day was back up to my apartment within 30 minutes to fix the door. I didn’t look at him, but he apologized and then said, "If it makes you feel any better you probably scared me more than I scared you!" Number 1: Probably not. You weren’t the one in your birthday suit. Number 2: I shouldn’t have scared you because the bathroom door was shut and the bath water was running...what else do you expect to find when those 2 things are combined. and finally Number 3: You NEVER say to girl that you just saw in the nude that they scared you...doesn’t do much for the self-esteem...not that he should have said anything else because that would have been bad too...just apologize and then possibly let me have my dignity back and have a month of rent for free.

Random Happenings

2009-03-17T19:47:00.000-07:00

So, we went down to Tucson this weekend for Doug's cousin's wedding. First of all, Tucson is awesome. They have real cactus. Like cactus that grows out of the ground wildly. It's really tall like trees or really short like me...and everything in between. It's also very pokey. Be very careful. I think climbing a cactus has the potential for being fun, if it wasn't pokey. They also have crazy wildlife, like mountain lions, gila monsters, rattlesnakes, tarantulas, and black widow spiders. Not cool.

Susie's wedding was beautiful. She was a beautiful bride. Doug and I didn't get any exciting drama in our wedding. Susie made up for it though. One of the groomsmen (7 in all!) passed out in the middle of Susie saying her vows. Don't worry, he was up right away. I was afraid he would have a nasty rug burn on his forehead though. The pastor took the opportunity to remind everyone not to lock their knees. Good advice for those of you out there who are getting married soon. They also took about 5 minutes to get the unity candle lit. Thanks to their persistence and to the pianists for "taking it from the top" a couple of times they got it lit. I'm pretty sure Austin who is an engineer had some brilliant way of getting that baby to light up.

They also had a swing dancing reception which upped their cool points about 276! It was a lot of fun. Doug and I hadn't done that for about a year, but we managed to wow his parents and his grandmother. I tripped a lot, but totally tried to play it off as really cool footwork. It might have worked.

We also got to stay with Doug's cousin Jon and his wife Amber. They have two kids, Ollie and Franklin. Ollie is 2 and Franklin is 7 months. Way cute. Me and Franklin were buds. He liked imitating my lips, which was rather humorous. I think he is the only person who has ever stared at my lips for 5 minutes straight.

Well, I'm off to the eye doctor tomorrow and the zoo with Linz, Jade, Erica, Grace, Tara, Claire, Aubrey, and whoever else is going! Hopefully they don't dilate my eyes. That would make the zoo not so cool.

"Hey, look at the hippo!"
"No, Angela, that's a gorilla!"

Bleh!

2009-03-10T20:15:00.000-07:00

I was excited to write a post tonight, but alas after about a 14 hour workday I'm pooped. This is about all I can squeak out tonight.

Currently:

Doug is out flying around our country...somewhere. He won't get home until about 12:30. I told him he could find me in bed, sleeping.

I'm wearing a dress I bought for Doug's cousin's wedding on Saturday. Sad to say, I have bought it and now I'm really not feeling it! I hate that! Pretty sure there will be no time to exchange it since we fly out on Thursday afternoon. Drat. It's a fun swing dress (the reception is a swing dance reception), but I just don't know! Maybe it's because it's been a long day.

Alright, I'm gonna go crawl in bed and read all about the Duggers and their 19 bajillion children. I'm taking parenting notes, but not because I'm gonna have 19 children. I'm not having one for a long time either, so don't get those hopes up. I'll share more about this book in a later blog once I finish it!

Nighty-night!

And So It Begins

2009-03-06T20:44:00.001-08:00

Alright, so I blogged back in college, but gave it up after a few years. I assume I was quite burned out. Who really knows?! But that is the past and I'm gonna give it a shot again! Actually Amanda, Lindsay and Jason have inspired me to do it again. Thanks guys!

I guess this will eventually let people keep up with Doug and I when we're off to our next assignment (and no, it hasn't been given to us yet!). In the meantime, I suppose I shall fill you in with the random happenings of life.

Currently:

Doug is playing some computer game that blows people up. I believe this must be a guy thing. He keeps asking if I would like to play. I keep turning him down. I'll just listen to the gunshots in the background and say, "Good job, honey! You killed a bad guy!" What's a good wife for?! :-)
I'm trying to decide which wedding pictures to order from our photographer from the wedding. I know, I know, it's been 2 1/2 months since the wedding! We get all of the pics in a proof book, but need to order ones we want to put on the wall or have for other things. Any suggestions would be great.

Well, here's to our blog. Cheers.