Slackers!

So, I was reading up on my Pioneer Woman today and she's having a contest to win a Kitchenaid mixer. Seriously they are the best thing ever. In the process of reading this blog I got down to the comments section. Seriously, the woman had 15,477 comments on that blog alone. Where is the love?!? I want 15,477 comments too. My 5 readers better get with it! That means you guys need to each leave 3,095.4 comments each. You better get busy, looks like you have a long night ahead of you.

I Did It...You Better Look Before They Die

I did it! I went to Home Depot and purchased living plants and some seeds to make my very own vegetation creation! Are you proud? You should be! I planted them 24 hours ago and guess what?! They are still alive! Pick yourselves up off of the ground, I was in utter shock when I checked them this morning and they still had green leaves. I thought this was a good sign that I should probably water them. So I did.

Now I have never attempted real vegetables or fruit, but I figured that I've failed at everything else so why not fail at this too! I'm all about being well-rounded.

So, here is what I purchased yesterday evening.

Yes, those are alive...your eyes do not fail you. I even touched them before I took this picture and they didn't whither away immediately. Miracles! Speaking of miracles I actually bought real dirt this time. In the past I've always bought the $1.50 top soil (maybe that was my problem all along) because I can tend to be cheap...and seriously, it's dirt! I could get it out of my backyard for free (but I don't think my apartment complex would be too thrilled). So, I decided to splurge and spend $4 on Miracle Gro dirt. There's got to be a good reason why everyone talks about this stuff and even considers putting it in small children's bottles. Don't worry when I have kids I won't do this to them. That would be bad and very irresponsible.

On with the pictures!

This is my strawberry plant. So far so good.
From the left: Zucchini, Green Pepper and the big patch of dirt has green beans
Who knows what crazy mixes we may get if those roots decide to join together. Zeppers? Green Peppini?

Finally to prove to you that I actually did touch these plants here is the proof:

Yes, I had a out of body experience with a pioneer and worked the land with my hands. Just call me Caroline Ingalls. I wouldn't have gotten this dirty except I kinda don't know where my trowel is. I spent a whole 98 cents on it a couple of years ago. Big loss. Hands were WAY more fun!

Alright, kiddies, keep checking to see how fast these suckers die! You might wanna check tomorrow...it could be that soon. Trust me.

I Kill Everything...In the Plant World

I want to plant pansies. I saw some pansies today while at Dillons (my 2nd stop to get items to make Doug feel better) and thought to myself, "Self, you should get some pansies and plant them!"

I thought back, "Well, self, that sounds splendid except for one small detail...you KILL all things that are alive and in your possession."

It's true. I do. I kill all plants that come even close to being in my permanent (or not so permanent) possession. It's a very sad, sad truth. This has also been the case for animals in my possession. They are okay at mom and dad's (as are plants), but when they come and live in my house they start dropping like flies. Even flies drop in my presence. In college (my last 2 years) I had a fish and a lizard...they died exactly 1 year apart...to the day. In my first 2 years of teaching I had another fish, a rat, and 2 guinea pigs. I'll admit I thought I had killed the fish and then I went to dump him in the toilet at school and he amazingly tried to jump out of the toilet. I felt pretty bad about that. The rat didn't even last a full 7 days in my class (the standing record). He was loved by all. I carried him around while I did a spelling test that week...all the kids did very well. I still think that rat was killed by the janitor. Conspiracy I say. The guinea pigs are my closest success story. I got rid of them before they died...thankfully before they produced 17 more guinea pigs right in front of 7 and 8-year-olds' eyes.

We won't even go into the plant thing. I've killed them all that's all there is to it. Even the stuff that just sits in a jar and grows...killed it. Flowers in little flower pots...killed them. I plant seeds...they don't even peek out of the dirt. They know death is coming so they don't even try. They probably die as soon as I pick up the packet of seeds. I put them in full sun...they croak. I put them in partial sun...they whither away. I even tried that thing called watering...doesn't really work for me. Been there, done that.

Now, the good thing is that it appears that, so far, I have been successful on the human front. I've been on my own for several years...here I am typing away. I have taught children for 4 years...no problems there. I even got myself a husband. He's been with me for 4 months with no ill effects...except that he's had a 102 degree temp for the past couple of days...but that's not the point! He is sleeping in the next room...therefore my ill luck with plants doesn't seem to be wearing off on him! Chalk one up for me.

Now, as for this pansy hankering I have. I suppose I can give it a shot. Maybe I just needed to be married to make it work. We even got a pot for our wedding (at least that's what we think it is...no, really we had to stop and think it about it when we got it...). I think it's a sign. Maybe it's a magic pot that will block out all of my bad flowering growing juice. Maybe it will be the object that will neutralize my black thumb of death.

I'll let you know. Until then, I'll be buying bouquets of pretty flowers that are expected to die...no matter who touches them.