Wonka Observations

As a child I never gave a second thought to Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. While watching today I noticed a few things after having some life experience.

1. How come my teachers never dismissed my classes when there were give aways inside candy bars? I totally got jipped.
2. I didn't understand the little random scenes as a child...you'll be glad to know that I would give up my case of Wonka bars if my husband's life depended on it.
3. I want to punch Veruca Salt in the face...wait, I wanted to do that when I was a kid too.
4. I want to punch Mr. and Mrs. Salt in the face too.
5. How the heck does Slugworth know the order the candy bars will be opened?
6. What kind of parent wouldn't be alarmed that a creepy looking stranger man, with a huge scar across his face that appears to be from a knifing, is whispering in their child's ear? Parents in the 70's were far too trusting.
7. I would like to name my future child Charlie just so I can stand in an alley and sing to him. The song is perfectly in my vocal range. It only makes sense to name him Charlie because of this.
8. I think I've taught Mike Teevee.
9. On the subject of teaching, how come the teacher can't figure out the percentage for 2 candy bars? He probably shouldn't have gotten his degree...or at least he should have read his teacher's edition.
10. Grandpa Joe is a lazy bum. "Bed Ridden for 20 years" my butt. I'm onto you Grandpa Joe.
11. Speaking of bed ridden for 20 years and never setting foot on the floor during that time, there are 4 old people sleeping in one bed...for 20 years...that just screams bed bugs to me.
12. If chocolate can bring an old man out of bed after 20 years, he can overcome his atrophy, and be dancing circles within minutes, my theory that chocolate fixes everything has some truth to it.
13. Gene Wilder scares me.
14. I can't think of a better way to go than drowning in chocolate.
15. Oompa-Loompas' skin color reminds me of some of the contestants on The Bachelor.
16. How disgusting would an Everlasting Gobstopper be? Slobbery and sticky.
17. I can only imagine how fast strep would spread with lickable wallpaper.
18. Who knew you could float when you were attached by a string to your pants?!
19. Always, always read the small print.
20. I live in a town that looks like Charlie's town.