I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant

Did my title capture your attention? Did it hook you? My high school English teachers would be so proud.

Don't get your panties in a wad though, cuz I'm not...at least I don't think so.

Seriously though, have you seen this show on TLC? Or on DMAX if you're on the other side of the ginormous pond. It is downright ridiculousness. It's one of those shows you just watch and wonder, "What the heedizzle?!?"

For those of you out there who have never been blessed to be able to view the beauty of this show it's about women who go into labor and give birth without ever knowing they were pregnant for the past 9 months. They go into labor and are pretty positive their about to die rather than birth a child. Which from what I've heard even women who know they're pregnant are convinced of the same.

I often watch this show (and it's always the same 3 episodes they repeatedly play) and wonder how the heck do you go for 9 months and not have a clue? There are larger ladies on the show so I suppose I could see that...maybe. BUT the itty bitty girls...where in the world does the kid go?!?

Now it used to be healthy for me to watch this show. Just one of those shows I sit in wonderment at and laugh...then get on my knees and pray it's not possible.

But it's gone to a whole new level.

Now when I bake cookies and they are sitting on my counter and I think, "Wow, a cookie sounds really good right now!"
My immediate response to myself is, "Oh shoot, is this a craving?!? Am I pregnant and I don't know it?!"
Then I must remind myself, "Self, there are fresh chocolate chip cookies for your taking...who wouldn't crave one of those beauties?!?"

Now when I gain a pound or two I think, "Oh man, I've gained a couple pounds!! Am I pregnant and I don't know it?!"
Then I must remind myself, "Self, you've been eating the fresh chocolate chip cookies on your counter and you haven't worked out for a month. There is an explanation for this."

Now when I lie in bed at night and I feel movement in my abdominal area I think, "Holy Moses, is that a baby moving?! Am I pregnant and I don't know it?!" Then I can't fall asleep...so I do the only thing that makes sense...design the nursery in my head.
Then after I've decided on color schemes and wood finishes I must remind myself, "Self, remember those cookies? There's this thing called digestion. There is an explanation for this."

So, if you ever consider watching the show "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant", you might want to rethink it...unless you want to be paranoid every time your body does something that's probably completely normal because you eat cookies. That show is straight from the devil.

BTW, I'm really not pregnant...unless I just don't know it.

Now excuse me while I go eat a cookie.