Wednesday, September 7, 2011

An 8th Grade Status Update Analysis

I can't sleep, therefore I Facebook stalk. I Facebook stalk past students. I'm curious about how they are doing out there in the scary, dark world we call Middle School. Are they acing their tests like their second grade teacher prepared them for? Do they love to read like I prayed they would? Are they on their way to becoming functioning, productive members of society?

I read.

I cry.

I find my sweet, quiet, studious, precious, dare I say "favorite" student of that first year of teaching. And this is what I find.

yu guyz wanna hear a storie.???? Us: yea sure Bruno: ok i waz walking 1 day nd there waz a stikk nd i didnt c it nd I TRIP *ppl laughing* Bruno: tru storie.. *every1 laughing hardcore* jajajaja *'**** Bruno.!! *'**** Bruno!

Where did I go rong wrong?

yu - I'm pretty sure the actual spelling of this word was one of our Word Wall Words. I have pictures to prove it. That word was on this wall at one point.

guyz - When you make a word a plural you add an s not a z. I know it may sound like a z sometimes, but I promise you it wasn't in 2nd grade --- it still isn't in 8th grade.

wanna - I'll let that slide, but only because there are much bigger fish to fry in this lesson.

storie - Again, I'm pretty sure that was on our World Wall. Refer to the above picture if you forgot what that was.

.???? - What the? We also covered this thing called punctuation. I also have proof of this. Refer to the pretty posters on the back wall. I spent good money on those. I wish you would have read them.

waz - I have no wordz except Word Wall, my little friend, Word Wall.

nd - Holy crap. Yep, I said it.

i - We also learned about capitalization. First rule in capitalization. I. Let me use it properly in a sentence. 

I want to stab my eyes out after reading your status update.

See how that worked?

stikk - Let me use this word in a sentence for you.

I want to stab my eyes out with a stick after reading your status update.

didnt - So close. I know you once knew how to properly do this. See the example below.

Notice to the right, the word "don't" --- used properly. I know this wasn't you that wrote it, but someone in second grade did, therefore I taught it.

c - "c" is a letter in the ABC's. "See" is a verb. I may not have taught that, although I probably did. Perhaps one of your other teachers failed you in that department.

ppl - Words need vowels to be words. You seem to be missing 3 of them. I can see how these might have been missed.

laughing - How did you get this word right when you can't spell and? I don't understand.

tru - I say false. You falsely spelled this word.

every1 - NO!!! You cannot combine letters and numbers to make words. No worky.

jajajajaja - I have never heard someone laugh like this. Perhaps in Germany?

*'**** - This word was not starred in the original status. Let's just say it is a very dirty cuss word and this person seems to think it ends in a double k and has an apostrophe right smack dab in the middle of the word.Again, I taught you the basics of short voweled words. At least spell you dirty words right.

Maybe since I wasn't successful maybe having my sister this year will learn you something. Surely having two Miss Royse's in your lifetime will do you some good.

Sister, fix what I messed up. Please.


Jennifer said...

That is LOL bad.
I have seen "jajaja" in my El Salvadoran friends' statuses, so I assume it's Spanish. But why a Kansas kid is using it is unknown.

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