Blind as a Bat

I got to go to the eye doctor today. Notice I say "got". I'm trying to think positively. I hate going to the eye doctor. I probably hate it more than any other doctor out there. So far. I even had a skin biopsy this week which involved sharp objects and stitches. I was dreading the eye doctor more than the sharp objects and stitches.

I have very bad eyes. I don't remember what it is like to wake up in the morning and be able to see stuff besides blurred images. I don't know what my husband looks like when he wakes up. I'm sure he looks totally hot though. Don't we all when we wake up? He probably wishes he had my eyesight when he wakes up in the morning and sees me.

Anyway, I asked my eye doctor (who was a stand-in for my doctor who is currently on maternity leave) what my vision was. Like, I know it's not 20/20. He couldn't tell me. I had my contacts out when I asked him this question so I was talking to a blurred object that was moving around in front of me...about 5 feet in front of me...okay, more like 3 feet. I had a Mary Ingalls moment, except my eyes aren't that pretty blue and I wasn't wearing a prairie girl dress, but I did want to reach out in front of me and touch his face. Not in a weird way though. In a blind way.

The blurry, moving object, with a man voice also told me I would probably be a good candidate for LASIK eye surgery as long as my cornea is thick enough and my pupils aren't as big as baseballs when the lights are out. So, if you would like to donate to the cause it costs a mere $2500 an eye. You can make the check out to me. Or I'd take $300 an eye and go to Mexico if need be. Maybe that would be a bad life choice though.

Anyway, on with my story, the blurry object, with a man voice told me he was going to tell his assistant to get me some new contacts (for free!) and she was going to explain about my new contact solution. It's fancier than my old stuff and has less preservatives apparently. So, blurry object with a man voice was soon replaced with a shorter blurry object, with a woman voice. She handed me two new contacts. Thankfully I aimed my hand right and grabbed them without missing.

Now my prescription for contacts is -6.5. For those of you peculiar lucky people out there with perfect 20/20 eyes this means I can't see squat pretty much without contacts or glasses. Everything is completely blurry like I've mentioned before. The blurry object with a woman voice had gotten the contacts for me so surely she comprehends that I have no idea what she looks like let alone what the blurry stuff in her hand is (at least I think that's her hand).  The blurry object with a woman voice starts explaining how to use the new contact solution saying things and pointing to things.

BOWAWV: Now, you're going to put your contacts in this little contraption.
*holds contraption in air...I think*

Me: *thinking* Can't see. *saying* Okay
*fumbling to open the new contacts in my lap*

BOWAWV: Then you're going to squirt the solution up to this line.
*point to alleged line...I assume*

Me: *still thinking* Still can't see, lady! *saying* MmmHmm
*struggling with new contacts that I'm currently feeling for in the package*

BOWAWV: You can see how the lid with the contacts will then fit into container with the contact solution.
*puts lid on...maybe."

Me: *thinking* Has she worked with people who are blind before?! *saying* Ahhh, I see!
*finally wrangle a contact and slip it into my right eye*

BOWAWV: Now, I'll put it all back in the box for you and you're good to go!
*puts it in box...I know cuz I'm looking at her with one eye open and one eye shut*

Me: *thinking* Dang it, I missed the show. Hope I can figure out how to soak my contacts tonight correctly. *saying* Thanks!
*attempts to start on the next contact*

Good thing there are directions on the back of the box just in case I couldn't see anything that she was doing.

Abilene or Bust

On Sunday we took "an adventure", as Doug would say.

The Adventurers: Phil, Janel, Doug, Me
The Adventure Location: Abilene, KS -- more specifically The Eisenhower Library and Museum

I know you all are thinking we are wild people. We know excitement when we see it. And this was it. This was a trip that both Doug and Phil were sooooo very excited about. Doug brought it up and it happened to be on Phil's list of places to visit. So it was a done deal.

I discovered on this trip what an absolutely horrible Kansan I truly am. Not lyin'. I've been a Kansan for 27 1/2 years and never been to this place and I didn't realize all the things that Eisenhower did. I think I felt a bit prouder of my state after I got done here.

Anyway, here's a little rundown of the funny things of this trip. Not tons, but there were definitely some giggles.

We first stopped at the Russell Stover Chocolate Factory...seriously can't pass up buying 3 lbs of chocolate for $10 and testing out some of that gloriousness. We had an idea of where to eat for lunch since I had done some research before. The only problem is I couldn't remember the name of it. All I knew is that it was in an old farmhouse and it was good country cookin' (AKA fried). The iPhone wasn't working out so well being in the Middle of Nowhere, KS (apparently "more bars in more places" doesn't include Abilene, KS). Doug decided to ask the lady at the cash register where to eat since she appeared to be a native and surely she would recommend this place since it had awesome reviews online. So, Doug asks...the lady responds, "I would highly recommend the bowling alley." 

 

We all kind of looked at each other like, "Is this a town inside joke?" But no she was serious. It's the bowling alley behind the Super 8. Thankfully around that time I got a bar of service on Doug's phone and found the name of the place we wanted. We sadly decided to not eat at the bowling alley and went with Mr. K's Farmhouse where we got a salad a full fledged fried meal, dessert and a drink for 8.95.

 

As you can imagine with two couples on a trip there is bound to be some hand holding going on. What more romantic place to hold hands than in a presidential museum that also focuses a lot on WWII? I mean really. Janel and I were standing together admiring some type of memorabilia. Doug and Phil were standing behind us looking at something else. Apparently Phil didn't get the memo that Janel was over by me and Doug was actually by Phil. I guess something about the war or the bust of Dwight D. Eisenhower made Phil have that fuzzy feeling inside so he reached out to hold "Janel's" hand. He waited and waited for her to take it. When he turned around to find out why she hadn't had the same feelings as him about Eisenhower's bust he found Doug just staring at him funny. At this point Janel and I turned around and caught the "Awkward Moose Moment", Phil turning bright red, denying it up and down, and Doug laughing at him hysterically. I think people thought we were weird. Sorry we couldn't get them to reenact this so no pics.

The boys like to read...everything. Janel and I like to look at pretty dresses and jewelry. There was a lot more reading than pretty dresses and jewelry. The boys are going to take us shopping where there isn't much reading...they just don't know it yet.

I think the highlight of the boys' day was looking at the solar panels for the water tanks.

Must be an engineer thing. Notice Janel and I didn't venture over there. We don't understand their language when they go into engineer mode.

There weren't very many people there, especially around closing time so we didn't have any pics of the four of us together. We had me and Doug:

And we had Phil and Janel:

We finally found a rather elderly security guard who was kind enough to attempt my camera. I handed it to him and showed him how to use it and he said, "Ooooo is this one of those digital cameras? My grandkids play with these things!" He struggled for a while and didn't really use the zoom to help frame the picture or he just moved from right to left to front to back. The first pic didn't turn out so well.

Poor President Eisenhower's head. So Doug had him try again and it was a success.

We were so excited to be able to spend this day with our friends!

Pics from here , here

Day 1 - Yesterday

Day 1 of P90x Complete - Survived

At first I didn't think there was much to this workout...arms and back...until I was doing more push ups than I've ever done in my life and doing them in more ways than I've ever known. I tried doing them on my toes, but faceplanted it. Thank goodness for carpet. Don't mind the rug burn on my forehead.

There were several times during the hour in a half that I was either laying flat on my face unable to move or rolling on the floor laughing...then I almost cried when I got so frustrated and then I threw my resistance band because it wasn't doing what I was telling it. Disobedient resistance band.

Basically I was no good at it...no good at all. Maybe next time. Which is tonight.

Tonight we do Plyometrics...look it up. It'll be the scariest read you've ever had in your life. I'm pretty sure our downstairs neighbors are really gonna wonder what is going on up here.

Monday --- 3 More Sleeps

Well, it's official, Doug and I are not starting P90x until Monday in the wee hours of the morning.

We opened the P90x box only to discover 2 decent sized booklets and a whole bunch of DVD's. We went through the booklets and decided that starting on a Monday would fit us best since we want to take Sundays off. So, we decided to just sit on the couch and enjoy watching a workout. Yes, watch it. We didn't really exert ourselves except that Doug pushed the forward button to make the workout go faster and I sat in a corner in the fetal position, crying. It was one of the scariest things I've ever seen.

In the mean time I have half of a Pioneer Woman chocolate sheet cake to take care of.

The Death of Me

So tonight Doug and I are starting P90x...should I be afraid? Probably.

But if P90x can give me a tan and less funky chest hair like this guy...

...then it will most definitely be worth my time and money. I'm even considering purchasing a pair of those snazzy shorts.

Oh and I'm so kidding about the chest hair.